Coming Home
by Kris10rox
Summary: Takes place after Tommy left for Montana..Jude is dealing with being without him, but what happens when he comes back..and he's not alone? Most of it in Jude's POV
1. Prologue

**A/N - Hey you guys! Well, I couldn't stay away..heh. This is in Jude's POV and it's my first time writing in anyone's pov so bare with me. This is just the prologue..so tell me what you think so far. Please review and tell me whether or not you want to read further..I've written up to 3 chapters after this. **

**-Coming Home-**

**Prologue -**

Okay, So it's been a month since the incident. I can't help but feel empty..ever since he left, I've been totally out of it. My mind is blocked, I can't write lyrics. Wouldn't it seem like I'd be inspired? That I'd have so much pain that I needed to get out? No, I can't. I have to sit here and keep it all in. Despite my tears, the endless supply of kleenex and the Ben and Jerry's ice cream surrounding my bed, Things have been pretty normal.  
"Jude, You've gotta let go." Kat tells me. Isn't she the one who was having the hardest time getting over Jamie? Who is she to tell me that I need to let go? I've barely left my room since..Yeah, sure, I go to school. I drop by the studio afterwards with the same excuse I had the day before.  
"I can't do it without him." And that's the truth. I can't. Darius sympathizes. He seems to get that I'm having a hard time. He even put me back to work with Kwest, thinking that it would be easier on me since we were close, than to get me a new producer and have to start all over. Truthfully? I don't even want to sing anymore. Hard as that may be to consume, It's the truth. He was my inspiration..my everything. I just don't have the strength anymore.  
"Jude!" My mom calls me down for dinner. It goes like this everyday..I usually sit in my room and sulk until she calls me down. After dinner, I go back up and continue. I just can't help it. He's gone.

**A/N - Short..I know..Send me a review and tell me whether or not to continue. Please?I want atleast 2:) I thinkthats fair..**


	2. Chapter 1 Maybe, Just maybe

**A/N - Woah, 11 reviews? I asked for two but I am definitely not complaining. Anything but, actually! Thanks so much..I hope you like the actual first chapter better. Okay..this is another short one, but not as short. The next chapter is longer, though. Please review? And thanks SO much for the support so far!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Instant Star**

**Chapter 1 - Maybe, Just maybe.**

I walk into G-major with my large hoodie on, hiding my shirt I had worn to bed the previous night. Yes I went to shool like this, but I just don't care anymore.  
"Jude." Darius greets me with a weak smile.  
"How's my favorite Instant star doing?" He asks. I can tell he's trying his hardest to be patient with me, and I really do appreciate him for that.  
"I'm alright," I lie. What am I suppose to say? I'm going out of my mind? Ha. No.  
"Good. Kwest is in studio C." He says, gesturing towards the studio. I smile up at him and nod, walking away. Kwest was pretty easy to handle. He knew how much Tommy meant to me..He also knew that I needed time. How much time? Who knows? Can you seriously put a time limit on something like this? No way. Healing was a long and depressing process. I wish I didn't have to go through it. But leave it to Quincy to leave a girl heart broken.  
"Hey Jude." He says as I walk in. I smile and return the greeting.  
"Got any lyrics for me?" He asks, hopefully. I just shake my head and pull out a notebook and pen from my backpack.  
"I'm just..not up to writing." I say, looking up at him. He nods in understanding. "Well, let's take a look at some of your old writing, maybe we could find something there?" He asks, oblivious to the fact that that girl was long gone. I couldn't sing one of those songs and pretend to be happy. I was sick of pretending. "I don't think so." I say, weakly.  
"Well..we could always see about getting a songwriter to write your songs." He said, knowing I couldn't handle that. I narrowed my eyes.  
"There's no way." I say. He smiles and shakes his head.  
"Then let's get to work." He urges, gesturing towards the notebook. I breathe in deeply and nod. Today I was going to come up with something no matter how hard it was for me. I was going to write. But, I was definitely not going to write about him. I couldn't give him the satisfaction.  
Kwest and I worked a few hours trying to get the lyrics right. It took atleast an hour just to come up with the hook. Thank god Kwest was patient too.  
"Jude, I'm liking this." He said, reading over the lyrics.  
"Yeah?" I say, smiling a bit wider than usual. Maybe..just maybe I can get over Quincy. Maybe I can move on.  
After we made a few minor adjustments Kwest proudly took the song to Darius and let him read over the lyrics. God, they were acting like it was a masterpeice or something. Darius liked it and sent me into the recording room imediately. I really didn't feel like singing. Nope, they wouldn't take that as an excuse anymore. Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into?  
Kwest spoke into the intercom, telling me which mic to use. I did as instructed and fixed it in front of me. For once, I was actually shaking. I didn't know why..was I nervous? I never get nervous. There was no music..I was just singing this raw and full of emotion. No sound to back me up. If I messed this up..better yet WHEN I messed this up..everyone would hear my flaws. Everyone being Kwest, but still.  
He smiled assuringly at me and that was my cue to start. I took a huge breath and let my emotions go, tears stinging my eyes and threatening to fall.

"My heart's beating fast, I can't relax

To this day I'm drained, When I hear your name

_Ok so it was about him..I can't help but write about him._

Just let me go, Drop the hold

Release me from the pain.

My heart's beating fast, I can't relax

Driven to the limit, I hide alone

You captivate, I can't escape

Though these tears I cry, and lonely nights

You told me you'd never leave me

Only to turn around and deceive me

Living regret, I'm bound by walls

To this day, you're my only flaw.

My heart's beating fast, I can't relax

Emptiness devours me

Just so ya know, I can't let go

I loved you more than you'll ever know

You told me you'd never leave me

Just to turn around and deceive me

Living regret, bound by walls

To this day you're my only flaw.

Bound by walls, I stay inside

Never fear these tears I cry

You're the one who left it all

You're the one who let me fall.."

I stopped singing and looked up, wiping away a few tears that had managed to escape. Kwest and Darius were gaping at me. Darius was smiling and Kwest had a look of sympathy on his face. The only one to say anything was the infamous Darius himself.  
"My girls back." He said, smiling widely.  
"My girls back." He repeated.

**A/N - I really hate notepad. It's not like wordpad..I liked wordpad. It was so much easier to upload. (Sigh) Well anywho. What did you guys think? Hope the chapter didn't suck..Please review:)**


	3. Chapter 2 I'm trying

**A/N - Hey you guys! Yay..I'm glad you still like it! Hehe. Alot of you asked if I wrote the lyrics last chapter..I know I replied most of you but just for the record Yes, I did..I write all the songs in my stories. I'm glad you guys liked it. Now-This chapter isn't as long as I thought it was but it's still good sized I guess. I'm having alot of fun writing in Jude's pov. For some reason it's easier? I don't know but I have 6chapters written so far :). So keep reviewin and I'll keep postin. Thanks for the reviews so far!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Instant Star**

**Chapter 2 - I'm trying**

I went home feeling kind of giddy that day. I had actually written a song. That was the first time I sang after he left..It felt kind of good, even if it was about him. When I got home my mom and Don weren't at the house, only Sadie. I certainly didn't want to be stuck at home with her. I mean, we get along sometimes, but when we don't..well..It's not exactly good.  
"Hey." Sadie says to me as I walk in. She seemed to be in a good mood..meaning there was probably a boy involved.  
"Hey." I say back, feeling a little uneasy.  
"You're home late." She says in a sing song voice. I roll my eyes and start towards the stairs.  
"I actually wrote a song today." I chose my words carefully before saying them. I know Sadie and I know if I mention Tommy she will go nuts on me, I know from experience.  
"Oh yeah?" She asks, coming out of the kitchen.  
"Yep." And that was the last of our conversation..it was actually our longest in days. I make my way into my room and stare at all the ice cream tubs and empty tissue boxes. Ugh, This was not me. To sit around and cry for some guy? Okay so I cried for Shay..that was different. We actually went out. Tommy showed no sign that he cared for me. He left me, if anything he showed he didn't care at all. I started picking up all the trash and throwing it in the small waste basket I had by my door.  
Afterwards, I thought about going to Kat's. She said I never got out anymore. She was right, I admit. So I did, I got up after looking around my room. It looked a little better. And then I walked back downstairs, down the street, and on my way to Kat's.  
"Jude?" Kat asked, obviously surprised to see me. I smiled.  
"Hey Kat." I said with a fake grin spreading across my face. She smiled back, her's actually being real and opened the door wider so I could come in. We walked to her room and started talking about everything and anything.  
"I wrote a new song." I say, feeling comfortable around her again. She raises an eyebrow at me and opens a bag of potato chips before saying anything.  
"You finally getting over the one who shall remain unnamed?" She asked, pointing the bag in my direction. I smiled weakly and hesitated before taking a few chips.  
"I'm trying." I say, shrugging. She nods, obviously understanding what I'm going through.  
"Thats all you can do." She says. I smile and there was a comforting silence as we chewed on the chips. It's been way too long since we hung out like this. I miss this. I miss being me.  
The next few days were kind of hard, now that I had written one song, Darius expected me to be able to write like I use to. Meaning he expected atleast three songs a week. Yeah..right.  
"D..I don't think I can do that." I defend, leaning against one of the walls in his office. His eyes hardened and his face didn't have the same soft look to it that it had had for the past month.  
"Jude. You know I've been trying the best I can to make this easy for you since Tom left," He started, I winced at his name, Darius must have noticed cause he shook his head.  
"But you are an artist and you are with G-major for a reason. To make music..so I suggest you start making music, or else I'll have to find someone else who is actually willing to put effort into their work," I could tell he was trying to be nice. I understand where he is coming from, so I nod. He tells me I can do it and then tells me I'm free to go. Everytime I'm called to his office I feel like I'm in school or something in the principal's office. You know how frustrating and nerve racking that is?  
"Harrison." A familiar voice floats over to me and I smile at the sight before me. It was Speid in one of Darius' gold chains. He was doing an impression of Darius that was hilarious and I coulnd't help but laugh.  
"He goin' hard on you?" He asks, suddenly acting concerned. Lately speid seemed like he had grown up a bit..and I liked it. He wasn't the same immature boy who I dated. I know, I know, It's only been a little over a month since we dated, but something seriously is different about the boy.  
"He's just doing his job." I say, shrugging off his comment. He smirks and takes the chain off.  
"His job..right." He says sarcastically before placing the chain back where he found it. I shake my head and smile at him before he heads to studio B with Jamie and Patsy.  
I head over to studio C noticing Kwest had a distant look on his face. Kwest was usually cheerful..meaning whatever it was that was bugging him, must be pretty bad.  
"Kwest? You okay?" I ask, closing the studio door behind me. He finally seems to notice that I've approached him and looks up at me. He tries to smile, but I can tell when it's real or not. He was forcing this one.  
"What's going on?" I ask, sitting down next to him.  
"Nothing." He insisted, now trying to change the subject.  
"We should record the vocals for 'Bound' again, then add the bass"  
"Kwest, come on, what is it?" I urge. He looks away from me and runs a hand over his head. Whatever this was definitely wasn't good. "Jude." He says, his voice was so low that I could barely hear him. I shivered, unable to help it. I didn't like that tone..not one bit.  
"Yeah?" I ask, trying to swallow the major lump that had formed in my throat.

"It's about Tom."  
My eyes widen and I'm not sure if I want to hear anymore. I lower my head and stare down at my hands which have started to shake. God, I can't even hear his freakin name without going into hyperventalization. After a few minutes of trying to calm my nerves I look back up at him and notice his intense stare he has on me. This definitely was not good.  
"What about him?" I tried so hard for that to come out confidently, but I screwed that up. My voice cracked, showing my vulnerability. Kwest stares at me for a long minute before shaking his head and looking away again.  
"It's nothing." He says, finality in his voice. I'm kind of scared to ask again..I don't think I will. I'm not sure I want to know anyway. Whatever Quincy is up to is his business. If he wanted me to know..he would have told me. Atleast called me.  
"Okay." I breathe out. After that he motions for me to go in the recording booth. I don't hesitate this time..I just go. I sung the song a few times, each time more confidently and finally as Kwest would say..'I nailed it.'

**A/N - I seriously do hate notepad. Ugh. Thanks again for the reviews and I hope yall still like it. Please review:)**


	4. Chapter 3 Coming Home

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews you guys! I didn't get that many last chapter..eh, it don't matter, I love anything I get and I love you guys who do review! thanks so much! WOOHOO! NO MORE NOTEPAD!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 3 - Coming Home**

Quite a few months pass and Kwest seems to get more worried each day. I don't understand it. He won't tell me anything.. I finally got up the courage to ask what was going on again. Same answer everytime. 'Nothing.' Of course it's something! If it was nothing then Kwest wouldn't have the attitude he had. If you wanted to call it an attitude. Anyway..I'm doing a little better. I don't cry every night anymore..Nope..Now it's every other night. Hey, I'm getting better, okay? It's almost been a year since he left..when that point reaches, I think I'll get a little better. Besides that..My third album is almost finished. It took this one the longest, but Darius was planning on having my album release party mixed with my 18th birthday. Some plan. My birthday is in a few weeks and I'm kinda scared about what kind of crap Darius has up his sleeve. Knowing him, he might invite Shay and ruin it for me. Okay, he's not that cruel..but I am scared.

"Jude, hun, that is _the_ outfit." Mason says, watching me twirl in a black evening gown. The front hung low and the bottom of the dress slanted. It reached my ankles and then went across to the other side which was a little bit above my ankles. I didn't favor it that much but Mason seemed to love it.

"I don't know, Mason." I fidgeted with the straps and felt his hands on my forearms so I turn around to face him.

"I do. You look great." He says, smiling down at me. I roll my eyes and push his cowboy hat down over his eyes. It's just too fun to mess with him!

"Thanks." I say, laughing as he fixes his hat, proudly.

"Never gonna' get rid of that thing, are ya?" I taunt, walking inside the store's fitting room and start to change back to my normal clothes.

"Hey, I don't tell you how to dress." He defends. I just smile inside the stall and shake my head.

"True." I say. Finally dressed, I walk out with the dress in hand.

"Are you sure?" I ask, unsure of whether or not I should get it.

"If you don't buy it, I will." He says, trying not to laugh. My eyes widen and I can't help but giggle at his crazy words.

"Okay, okay, I'll get it." I say, walking up to the counter and pulling out a couple of twenties from my wallet.

The rest of the day went pretty interesting. I hung out with Mason and we went birthday shopping. I feel comfortable with him..he's one of the few people I feel comfortable around these days. After shopping we stopped at a little cafe to get something to eat.

"So, how are things with you?" He asks, taking a bite out of his burger. I smile at the ketchup that made it's way down his lip and to his chin. I hand him a napkin.

"Pretty good. You?" Things have been pretty good I guess.

"Good, good." He says, smiling. I smile back and nod.

After a long and confusing conversation, A conversation with Mason is always confusing, We pay for our food and decide we better get back to G-major. When we got there I immediately spotted Sadie who was staring down at some sort of magazine. Kwest was next to her, both of them had discomfort written all over their faces.

"Hey guys." I say in a cheerful voice, trying to lighten the mood. Sadie immediately pushes the magazine under a stack of papers as if I couldn't see her with it in the first place. I might be blonde, but come on Sadie.

"Hey Jude." She says, smiling a little too widely. Kwest just looked at me and had a warm smile.

"Sadie, what was that?" I ask, putting my dress on her desk and walking around to look through the papers. She holds her hand out to stop me and looks at me like I'm a little kid and that I just got beaten or something.

"Jude..you don't want to see it." She says, concern dripping from every word. Now I definitely have to see it.

"Saide, come on." I push her aside and take the magazine from under the papers and give the cover a good look.

"Um," I start, my voice quickly going up an octive. I felt as if I couldn't breathe at that moment. The sight before me was just too much..

"He looks happy." I say, trying my hardest to keep what I actually want to say inside. He did look happy..and so did she.

"Jude-"

"What?" I interrupt,"He does look happy..I'm happy for him." I say, trying to convince myself more than Sadie or Kwest. Sadie smiled weakly and nodded, knowing I was breaking down inside. So this is what Kwest was keeping from me? That Quincy was getting married? Now I understand it..

"So um, Kwest..you want to work on my song?" I ask, my voice was quivering, but that I couldn't help. Mason had his hand on my shoulder and was rubbing it, reassuringly. I look over and smile at him quickly before I walk over to studio C.

Once I'm inside and alone I get to actually think this over. Tommy was getting married. He'd only been gone..not even a year and he was getting married? How is that even possible? How can you meet someone that fast? Well, It is Tommy. God, I'm giving him way too much credit.

"Ugh, Quincy..how can you _still _do this to me?" I say aloud and collapse into a chair, bringing myself towards the desk and cradling my face in my hands.

After a few minutes the door opens and Kwest walks in, startling me. I look up with teary-eyes and try to smile. He must have noticed how much I was hurting, but it was Kwest. He knew when I didn't want to be asked about my feelings. He knew when to back off. And this was one of those times.

"Hey." He says softly, sitting next to me.

"Hey."

"You ready to record?" He aks. I nod and grab my guitar, carrying it into the recording booth. He gives me the nod and I take a deep breath and start strumming.

"Everyday I die a little more from my insanity

Everyday my head falls a little more, lowering my faith

Everyday I drift a little more, unable to see your eyes

And everyday I cry a little more, unwillingly to my surprise.."

After that I kinda tuned myself out, if that makes sense. I can't get my mind off of Tommy..just when I thought I was getting over him..He's moved on. Though he was never really mine..I thought since he asked me out that night he had actually wanted to start something finally. I guess I was wrong.

Weeks crept up quickly after that-I think it's safe to say I'm freaking. I'm turning eighteen..the big one-eight, you know..the age Tommy couldn't wait for? Yeah, that one! Two more days..just two more days.

"Finally turning eighteen." Jamie says, coming up to me with a smirk plastered on his face.

"Zip it, Andrews." I say, pushing his shoulder. He mocked hurt and walked into his office at Patsy's demmand. Yes, Jamie now had his own office. Darius was growing to like Jamie..it was kind of cute, actually. Speaking of the devil..

"Jude! My office. Now." Darius' words were cold and they bit at me. I definitely didn't like his tone..this couldn't be good.

"Have you came up with a song you want to sing at your party yet?" He asked, gesturing for me to take a seat in front of his desk. I do so.

"Yeah, I guess." I've written alot lately..no big deal. Darius was obviously happy with that statement, he was smiling.

"Good." He says, entertwining his hands on his desk. I nod and bite down on my lip, wondering if that's all he wanted. I don't want to ask so I guess I'll just sit here and wait.

I'm sitting here staring at him and he looks like he's thing. What about? The world may never know..I think he wants to say something. He's very hesitant about it, though.

"Look, I'm gonna be straight up with you." He finally says, making me jump slightly at his deep tone. I continue to bite my lip as he says this. Straight up with me? About what?

"What's up, D?" I ask, watching him search for the right words to say.

"I've kept in touch with Tom.." He starts. Funny, I don't flinch at his name anymore.

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask, trying to figure out what he was getting at.

"He's coming home." My throat freezes up and my lip slowly slips from my teeth's grasp. He's coming home? As in..here? G-major?

"When?" I'm surprised Darius could even hear me, but he did. He took a few minutes before answering.

"Tomorrow."

WHAT? He's coming back tomorrow? He _just _decides to tell me? Why would he do that to me? Wait..cool it Jude. No big deal. He's getting married, remember? It's okay. You'll be fine. It's just Tommy..

"Oh." I say. It's all I can say. Tommy's coming back.

**A/N - God I'm so happy I don't have to use notepad anymore..hopefully I'll never have to again. :) Thanks again for the reviews and please review this chapter! Love ya'll!**


	5. Chapter 4 Good Luck

**A/N - Thanks you guys..for the ones who did review :) **

**_- Stargirl8480, Blondenhot, Angel422, Scott4eva, Tanya50801,Blueyes8907 -_ **

**Really you guys..I appreciate it. Now this chapter is leading up to a more interesting chapter..in my opinion. Hope ya still like it? Please don't give up on the story..it should get more interesting soon. I'm trying..Thanks again!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 4 - Good Luck**

I left Darius' office scared and confused. I don't know why I was scared..but..I was. Afterwards, I went home without talking to my mom who had desperately tried to get me to talk. I didn't feel like talking..I felt like thinking. I had to think. Tomorrow Tommy was coming back. Darius told me that he still had no idea why Tommy left in the first place. I still held that against him. Darius also informed me that Tommy would be bringing his fiance with him. That didn't exactly shock me, I mean come on..I'd think she was out of her mind if she let him come alone.

The day after tomorrow I turn eighteen. I will no longer be considered a kid..and whatever mistakes I make will no longer be over looked. I will be an adult. A responsible adult.

That night I tried to stay awake all night..not wanting the next day to come. I had to go into G-major all early to check over arrangements We'd made for the release party. I didn't want to go..I knew Tommy was going to be there. So that night I stayed up all night working on the song I'd sing on my birthday. Since now I know Tommy will most likely be there-I had to make something brand new. Something to show how much he hurt me when he abandoned me. I had to make him understand.

Okay-Not such a smart idea-Staying up all night I mean.

Now morning is here and sure, I have lyrics, but I feel miserable. I can hear footsteps coming up the stairs. It's Sadie, I know it. And as if on cue-

"Jude, Darius called. We have to be at the studio in a half hour." Sadie says, poking her head in my door without being invited. She must have noticed my tired eyes and my messy hair. Okay and the clothes I wore yesterday could have been a dead give away.

"Were you up all night?" She comes into my room and crosses her arms across her chest as if she were my mother or something. Whats it to her?

"Yeah. Working on a song." I simply say. She shakes her head at me and then walks out mumbling something about getting ready in twenty minutes. I'm so happy I have a car now. I don't have to ask Sadie for a ride anymore. Though it really does suck working at the same place as her. She just couldn't stand the fact that I was going somewhere and she wasn't. Oh well.

I sigh and push my guitar aside. Getting off the bed, my legs ache from the cramps that developed in them from the previos night.

"Ow." I stumble over my feet and fall to the floor in front of my mirror.

"Smooth, Jude." I say to myself, getting up and rubbing my leg from the rug burn.

It normally only takes me a few minutes to get dressed, but today..I felt I needed to spurge. Tommy was coming back. He may be engaged but I could always show him what he walked out on, right? Better yet..what he missed out on.

I settle on jeans and a white tank top. Okay so I'm not gonna' try to impress him..why should I? He's taken. I am leaving my hair down though..he seemed to like that.

I walk downstairs slowly with my guitar and notice Sadie sitting on the couch. I know it took me longer than thirty minutes..why was she still down there?

"You haven't left yet?" I ask, meeting the bottom of the staircase. She shrugs.

"Thought it would save gas just to wait for you." She says.

"Oh, so I'm driving?" I ask, grabbing the keys from my pocket.

"Guess so." And with that I place the guitar in the back seat of my car and we drive to G-major. As soon as I pull into the parking lot I notice a new vehicle parked by the front. I know everyone's vehicle's from G-Major..and that wasn't anyone's that I knew. Could it be?...This early? Chill Jude!

"Who's car is that?" Sadie asks, stepping out of the car. Did she even know he was coming?

"I don't know." I answer, getting my guitar out and holding it extra close to me.

We walked slowly up to the entrance and before I walked in I swallowed hard. This was it..

Sadie pushed the door open and I followed slowly behind her.

"Jude." Kwest greets me pretty quickly. I smile.

"Hey." I say, my voice was kind of weak.

"You look tired, You okay?" He asks. I tried to hide the bags under my eyes with makeup..stupid crap..I should get my money back.

"I'm fine." I insist, walking to studio C with Kwest, looking around for him..I didn't see him.

Kwest seemed to be in a hurry to get me away from the lobby. What was the deal with that?

"Jude, are you gonna be okay?" He suddenly asks. Does everyone think I'm gonna break? It's just Quincy..no big deal.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I say matter-of-factly.

"Okay..what ya got for tomorrow night?" He asks, changing the subject. I take out the folded paper from my pocket and hand him it. It was the song I stayed up all night to write. He read over the lyrics and bobbed his head. Good sign..

"It's deep." He says, looking up at me with concerned eyes.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" He asks again and it takes every bit of strength I have in me to retain myself. I wanted to hit him for thinking I was that..whats the word? devoted? No..obsessed? Yeah, that works better.

"I'm fine Kwest." I say inbetween clenched teeth. He holds out his hands in defeat and then his eyes float to the studio door. The small smile he had before immediately faded and he sighed before tapping my knee reassuringly.

"Good luck." He says and I hesitate before turning around. There he was. He was standing outside in the lobby with Darius and some girl. Must be his fiance..she was pretty. How can a girl compete with that? Jude, this isn't a competition!

"You want to get this over with?" Kwest asks, getting up from his chair and walks over to stand in front of me. I nod and get up, following him out to the lobby...

**A/N - So? What y'all think? I promise..the next chapter should be more interesting. I really am trying to keep this interesting..please leave a review**


	6. Chapter 5 Reunion

**A/N - Hey you guys..Thanks you guys for the ones who did review -**

**-Scott4eva, Angellicious02, Angel422, Duddley111, Mandy1485, Tanya50801-**

**It means alot to me, I'm glad you guys are liking it. This was by far my favorite chapter to write..heh**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star and the song in here I do not own. It is by Toni Braxton..**

**Chapter 5 - Reunion**

Kwest had his arm around my shoulder, I'm guessing he was trying to comfort me. For some part it was helping..until Tommy's eyes met mine.

"Tom." Kwest finally spoke, breaking all of us from the awkward silence that had seemed to consume the room when Kwest and I approached. Tommy smiled and held out his hand for Kwest to take.

"It's good to see you man." Tommy said. He sounded pretty sincere.

I couldn't say anything..after seeing his eyes..being in his presence after almost a year. I just stared down at my shoes and waited for Darius to tell me to go somewhere and do something. Just my luck..Darius did no such thing.

"Kwest, Jude, This is Destany..my fiance." His tone dropped on fiance and I could have sworn I heard his voice quiver. When I looked up I saw the girl smiling at me. Jeez..I want to hate her, how can I hate her with her smiling at me like that? She had blue eyes and long brown hair. She looked like a model..perfect figure..Ugh, this was making me sick.

"Hi Destany." I say, smiling. I couldn't help it. She was just too nice not to like.

"I've heard alot about you, Jude." She said, holding out her hand. Ha! Quincy actually said something about me? Wow.

"Oh yeah? Wish I could say the same about you." Okay I didn't mean for that to come out so harshly, but I take her hand and continue to smile. I could see Tommy nodding. Ha, he knew that comment was meant for him. Good.

Destany smiled sadly as if she understood what I was talking about.

"I heard your birthday was tomorrow? eighteen right? Congrats." She says after a while..after the room went silent again. She must have felt as uncomfortable as me.

"Yeah..thanks." I say.

Finally Lord Darius decides to say something.

"Well Jude..Portia is in her office. Go run things with her about tomorrow." He says, motioning towards Portia's office. He couldn't have said that like ten minutes ago? Wonderful timing D.

"Gladly." I bite out. Yeah the chick probably hates me, but whatever. And the nerve of Quincy. He said nothing to me. Oh excuse me, he introduced me to the fiance. He said one thing.

Once I reached Portia's office my mind was already going in circles and Portia must have noticed the aggravated expression on my face. Was it really that obvious?

"So ya saw Tom, huh?" Portia asks, smiling.

"What makes you think that?" I say, sitting across from her and crossing my arms.

"Come on Jude, you might be able to lie to Kwest, maybe even Darius, but I know you." She said. Dang it..

"Yeah..I saw Tommy." I say, bitterly.

"Still the same Tom." She says, knowingly. I smile weakly and nod my head. She understands..I know she understands..she was married to the man for christs sake

"It's just so.."

"Hard to hate him?" Portia offered. I raised my brow and nodded. Yep, she knew how I felt.

"Well, about the brithday arrangements." And after that we worked on how everything would go tomorrow.

My mind was only partially with Portia. I couldn't help but think of Tommy and his fiance. Tommy just got back. _Just_ got back and I already can't get my mind off of him. Ugh. He hadn't changed..still was the cutest thing I've ever layed eyes on. Still had the sweetest voice and still had my heart. Heart? No Jude..he doesn't. He is taken. Taken!

After I confirmed everything with Portia and we came to an agreement on everything..I had to face everyone again. I opened the door to exit Portia's office and my eyes immediately scoped the lobby. I didn't see anyone in there except Sadie at the front desk. Okay..maybe I didn't have to face them yet.

"Hey Sadie." I say, walking by her desk.

"Shes pretty." Sadie says as if reading my mind. Sometimes I wish we weren't sisters.

"Yeah. She is." I agree.

"Alright..I'm gonna be in the studio..I'll talk to you later," I say, walking into the studio and grabbing my guitar. After seeing all of the crap I had to see..I needed to get my emotions out. Last night I didn't only write one song..I actually wrote another. Well, I worked on another that I started when Tommy first left. Now it was time to test it..I don't want anyone to hear it though..

I started to strum lightly with my eyes closed, remembering the first time we kissed..my sixteenth birthday.

_Don't leave me in all this pain_

_Don't leave me out in the rain_

_Come back and bring back my smile_

_Come and take these tears away_

_I need your arms to hold me now_

_The nights are so unkind _

_Bring back those nights_

_When I held you beside me.._

_Unbreak my heart_

_Say you'll love me again_

_Undo this hurt you caused_

_When you walked out the door_

_And walked outta my life_

_Uncry these tears_

_I cried so many nights_

_Unbreak my heart, my heart._

Now was the most intense part..the most heartbreaking part..our goodbye. His goodbye.

_Take back that sad word goodbye_

_Bring back the joy to my life_

_Don't leave me here with these tears_

_Come and kiss this pain away_

_I can't forget the day you left_

_Time is so unkind_

_And life is so cruel_

_Without you here beside me._

_Unbreak my heart_

_Say you'll love me again _

_Undo this hurt you caused_

_When you walked out the door_

_And walked outta my life_

_Uncry these tears_

_I cried so many nights_

_Unbreak my heart, my heart_

And thats when I was brought from my tearful singing. I heard a grunt which startled me so I quickly looked up and spotted him in the door way. Good going Jude..

"Jude, can we talk?" He asks. Here it comes..he's going to try to make everything between us okay again..maybe. Or maybe he's going to lecture me about the song. It don't take a genius to figure out that that song is about him.

"Sure. Talk." I say, placing my guitar next to me, but holding a strong grip on the neck. He nods and closes the door behind him. Ooo, we need privacy? Must be important! Heh, yeah..right.

Now somehow in the last few minutes I made it across the room and I'm leaning against the studio door, just incase I need to make a quick exit. Tommy's standing across from me and I can feel his burning gaze on me. No, I'm not looking up at him..I've actually found a very interesting spot on the floor. Okay okay..I just can't handle looking at him. I'll fall for whatever he has to say and I don't want things to go that way. Not this time.

"Jude..you look good." He says. What? What is that? After all of the crap he put me through and the best thing he can come up with to say is I look good?

"Tommy you wanted to talk. I know you didn't come in here to talk about how good I look." I say. Now I'm looking at him and watching him nod. He doesn't say anything for a long time..he just sits there and stares at me. I know I'm not that fascinating so he must be thinking.

"I'm sorry." He finally says. I could hear the sincerity but..I can't accept that that easily.

"About what?" I'm trying to play it cool now..heh. A girl needs a little composure, you know?

He smiles weakly at me and nods, biting his lip. Oh god..that is hot..why does he have to do those kind of things?

"I can't say I know how you feel and I can't take back anything I've ever done to you, Girl. I never intended to hurt you." He said. Why does he have to be so..sincere?

"Why'd you do it Tommy?" Dang it! That slipped! So much for staying strong. Might as well let it all out now..

"You asked me out on a date. A _date_. Then you leave me?" The tears were swelling in my eyes but I wouldn't allow them to come. Not in front of him.

"You just left..no explanations. No reasons. Why Tommy? That's all I want to know." I say. He's finally broken eye contact with me. I think I finally got through to him. He's brushing his hand through his hair and I can tell he's trying to think of what to say.

"I couldn't stay." He says. Oh god..that is so not an explanation.

"Why? Was I that repulsive? You were my producer Tommy. You left me with nothing. I couldn't sing. I couldn't write. I was nothing." I can't help it..I have to get it all out. Make him realize the hell he has put me through.

"I know, and I'm sorry." He says again. Once again..nothing. No explanations. Okay well if he's not gonna tell me then I don't want to hear it!

"She's pretty." I say, sniffling back my tears. I hadn't shed one yet. Surprising.

"Don't." He says, looking up at me. Don't? Don't what? She is pretty..

"Never knew you went for models." I must have pushed him over the edge then..he narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to me. Now he's just staring at me..

"Congratulations by the way." I say, grabbing his hand and running my fingers over his ring finger.

"Jude.." He says, tensing under my touch.

"Welcome to hell, Quincy." And with that I drop his hand and walk out of the studio, leaving him shocked and confused.

**A/N - So? What did ya think? And once again, I do not own the song.."Unbreak my heart" It's by Toni Braxton..but I thought it fit SO well, think so? Please review you guys! and thanks for the reviews so far!**


	7. Chapter 6 It's my birthday!

**A/N - Thanks so much you guys! I loved the reviews and I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Now..quick warning..this chappy isn't that interesting..seriously, It's just not..well in my opinion it's not. It's leading up to the next chapter which I think is ALOT better. Well anyway thanks to you guys who did review. I love you guys so much! Oh! and Special thanks to Angel422, I am SO sorry it wouldn't let me review to your story..Stupid computer. I loved it though and thanks for reviewing to mine!**

**- Scott4eva, Blondenhot, Angel422, Tommy4eva, Judeh05, Tanya50801, Duddley111 -**

**Disclaimer -I do not own Instant Star **

**Chapter 6 - It's my birthday!**

As I walked out of the studio I felt powerful. _I_ left _Tommy_ wanting for once. Now that Quincy is back..Hell I don't even know if he's staying. But for the time being-while he's here- he's not going to enjoy his stay too much. Not if I have anything to do with it..I think he knows that now.

I went home that night completely exhausted. As soon as I got to my room, ignoring all the missed calls on my cell, I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep.

"Happy birthday to you-" Someone's annoying cheerful voice was screeching through my peaceful slumber.

"Mm." I groan, turning and pulling my pillow over my head.

"Happy birthday to you-"

"Sadie come on.." I groan once again. It's way too freakin early.

"Come on, Jude, get up. You're eighteen!" Sadie urged. I am eighteen aren't I?

I get up and rub away the sleep from my eyes. Sadie's smirking at me and I know why. No one looks good in the morning..and she has no room to talk.

"Shut up," I bite before grabbing a few random clothes from my drawer and head to the bathroom. I heard giggling behind me and I couldn't help but laugh myself. I must look wonderful.

After getting dressed I walk downstairs with Sadie and see Jamie, Kat, and Mason sitting on the couch in the living room.

"..Hey..guys." I say, looking around curiously.

"Hey birthday girl." Jamie says, handing me an envelope shaped as a cd. Okay..so it was a cd. Haha. How obvious can you be Andrews?

"Thanks Jamie." I smile. I'll love it whatever it is anyway. After that Mason and Kat hand me two gifts that are wrapped.

"Thanks." I say once again and place the gifts to the side.

"Jude? Not opening presents?" Kat came up to me and held her palm to my forehead.

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" She says, playfully. I just smile and shake my head.

"What do you guys want to do?" I ask, a huge smile planted on my face. Woohoo! I'm eighteen!

"It's your birthday. What do you want to do?" Mason asks, getting up from the couch. Hmm..thats a hard one..

"Let's just go out and get something to eat. Simple. I want today to be simple..because tonight is going to be anything but." And thats the truth if Darius'll have anything to do with it.

"Okay. Something to eat it is!" Jamie says, pointing to the door and walking out like hes some kind of caveman. Haha..caveman days..seventeenth birthday..locked with Tommy. And here we go again.

As we all pile into Jamie's car I scoot close to Kat so she's the only one that can hear me.

"He's back." I whisper, waiting for a shocked response. Nope..Kat just looked at me with concern.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, Jude." Kat says. Um, am I missing something?

"You knew?" I ask, my volume rising just a little.

"I've kind of known about the proposal..since it happened?" She says, smiling innocently. Ha, yeah. Real innocent there Kat.

"Why didn't you tell me Kat?" I ask, suddenly drawing everyone's attention except Jamie who had his hands on the wheel.

"I didn't think it would be good for you. I mean you were trying to get over him and all.." She said, looking over at Mason who was nodding.

"She's right. It's a good thing she didn't tell you or else you'd still be moping around your room." He says, adjusting his hat.

"I don't 'mope'." I defend, crossing my arms. Kat and Mason give me a look. Okay so maybe I do.

"I can't believe this. Why am I always the last to know?" I groan, now bringing my hands to my face.

"Today's my eighteenth. I'm suppose to be happy. Why'd he have to show up and ruin it for me?"

"It was going to happen sometime or another." Kat said, patting my shoulder.

"Yeah." I say, looking out the window.

We finally got to the fast food place and go inside. Everything after that kind of cheered me up. It felt good being with my close friends. No worries, no need to act proffesional or anything. I could actually hang out and feel comfortable being myself.

"Your dress is amazing, by the way." Kat jabs my arm with her elbow as she tells me this.

"How'd you see it?"

"Mason..he made me look it up online and see it. Said it was too beautiful not to see..and yes he said it in those exact words," Kat said, smiling. I roll my eyes.

"Mason," I groan, throwing the wrapper from my straw at him. He just shrugs and continues his conversation with Jamie.

"But really, you're gonna look great. Show Quincy what he's missing."

"Yeah.." I sigh..

"Tommy _is_ going, right?" Kat suddenly ask. Um..good question?

"I don't know..he never said anything about it. I mean the one conversation we had wasn't very eventful anyway..nothing much was said. A few 'I'm sorrys'" I say, remembering our conversation from yesterday.

"He said he was sorry?" Kat asked, suddenly interested in the conversation. I turn to her and quirk my eyebrow.

"Whats the big deal? He didn't have an explanation for leaving..he's not forgiven in my book. Far from forgiven." I'm as stubborn as they come..

"Give him hell." Kat says, surprising me. I laugh at the determined look on her face and then we both turn our attention back to Jamie and Mason who have started an argument about Star Wars..something about who fought who in some episode..personally? I'm not a star wars fan so I can't pick a side here.

Eventually we left the place and went back to my house. It was already three and I had to be at G-major at three thirty. Darius' orders.

"See you guys tonight. Thanks." I say, hugging each of them and watching them walk to their cars. Jamie and Mason started the argument up again and I just smile and shake my head, shutting the door.

This was going to be a long night.

After Jamie, Kat, and Mason left..I hurriedly grabbed a bag and threw a few things in it before rushing out the door and heading to G-major. When I got there Portia greeted me at the door, staring down at her watch.

"Sorry!"

"You're late." She says, trying not to smile. I can see the smirk in her eyes. She is nothing like Darius..even when she trys to be like him. I just smile and shrug hopelessly.

"Alright, let's go get your hair and make-up done!" She squeals, obviously excited. I see another unsweet sixteen coming about..

**A/N - So? Whatcha think? I promise you guys..next chapter will be more intense..more Jommy intensness if ya know what I mean ;). Pleas review?**


	8. Chapter 7 Living on this memory

**A/N - Thanks so much for the reviews you guys! I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday, wordpad wasn't working again. So this time I can't thank y'all individually because I'm afraid if I open another window my computer will go nuts..it's surprising it even let me get this far. But once again thanks so much, you have no idea what your reviews mean to me:) Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star..I do own this song.**

**Chapter 7 - Living on this memory**

Eight O'clock came way too soon. I am wearing my dress and my hair is down, straightened, though. No waves..It looks kind of nice. They put just a dab of lip gloss on me and I have white eyeshadow. Black eyeliner..and I have to admit..these people work miracles.

"Jude.." Portia gasped, playing with the back of my hair.

"Yeah?" I gasp back. I actually like how I look.. This is crazy.

"You look amazing." She said, smiling down at me.

"Thanks." I say, smiling back. She was wearing a long red dress that fit her snug, but it looked good.

"You ready to get this over with?" She asks, opening the door of her office. Yes, this party is at G-major again..Darius fixed it up nice though. And I mean really nice..he really is a big spender. Only Portia has seen me so far.

I nod and follow, not being able to hide my incredibly huge smile.

She's the one who escorted me down the steps.

"You start off with the song." She whispers to me as we reach the last steps. I could barely hear her over the loud music that was already blaring-Songs from my new album. There are more people here than I even know..

"Okay." I breathe out, picking up my guitar and smiling at Kat, Jamie, Mason, and Speid, who were all crowded in the front watching me.

The music started to quiet a bit and a mic was already set up in front of me.

"Hey everyone," I say. Wow..sure are alot of people here tonight. No shay..good sign.

"Thanks for coming." There's Tommy..bad sign. I swallow hard and regain focus on everyone else.

"This is a song that will be on my senior album..It's called reality." I say. Yes, I am still with G-major. Darius had me sign a new contract a few months back.

Everyone starts to quiet even more and I take a few deep breaths before closing my eyes and I start strumming on the guitar.

_"My heart bleeds the misery_

_Of which is never ending_

_You're just a lost puzzle peice_

_Or a hook to another song_

_And I'm just the girl..you love to lead on_

_No reason to pretend _

_We knew from the beginning_

_There's nothing left to say_

_No explanation of the way you left me_

_You and I were never meant to be_

_Two worlds collided in misery_

_Finally breaking from this fantasy_

_This is our reality_

_Living on this memory_

_clinging to my sanity_

_You're just so lost to me_

_And unwilling to find your way_

_You and I were never meant to be_

_Two wolds collided in misery_

_Finally breaking from this fantasy_

_This is our reality_

I finally open my eyes and automatically find Tommy glaring at me. His fiance was standing next to him like a prize..I feel so wrong. He's happy. She's happy. I don't want to stand in the way of that..if he loves her then I am all for it. Does she know how lucky she is?

My eyes begin to water and I take a few deep breaths before closing my eyes again and finishing the song..

_This is our reality_

_I step from my pride_

_You know I can't deny.._

_I'll never forget that you and I_

_We had our chance.._

_We don't belong.._

_It's Just another song.._

_Another bro-ken heart_

_And I hate you.."_

I stop strumming the guitar and my hands rest on the smooth edge of it. Finally opening my eyes I see everyone looking at me. Most were clapping, but some..Tommy being one, were just staring at me. I don't know how to describe the looks on their faces. The only word that comes to mind is 'shocked'.

I smile and wave at everyone while placing my guitar in it's original position and then I hop off the little stage-thing Darius had at the bottom of the staircase.

"Jude," Someone's hand was on my shoulder and I couldn't tell by the voice who it was because the music was turned back on. So I turned and met eyes with my dad.

"Honey, that was beautiful." He said..he even had tears in his eyes. Oh jeez.. here we go.

"Thanks dad." I smile as he hugs me.

"My little girl is finally eighteen. I'm so proud of you, Jude." He says, now looking me straight in the eyes.

"Thanks dad." I repeat. He nods and pushes me towards my friends. I sigh in relief, not wanting him to get all emotional on me. And then I feel another hand on my shoulder, thinking it was him I spun around with a smile.

"Dad, come o-.." It wasn't my dad.

"Is this really how you want it to be Jude?" Tommy looked so angry. I've never seen him this angry..not even the time I screwed up at the event where I had to sing 'Stupid girl' yet instead I sang 'My sweet time' Nope this is alot worse.

"Because I have news for you. I'm back with G-major and I'm not leaving." He spit.

I couldn't say anything. I feel so bad..I said I hated him. He knew it was about him. Why should he care anyway? he's the one who left me. I shouldn't feel guilty. He should be the guilty feeling one.

"Well I have news for you Tommy. You and barbie can stay where ever you want. Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore." I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"My god Jude, you just had to bring up Destany. She didn't do anything, don't bring her into this." He said with equal frustration. He's right she didn't do anything..

"That's it, isn't it? You're jealous." He says. Me? Jealous? I'm not jealous!

"You're so full of yourself Quincy. I've said it before and I'll say it again- Not everything is about you." I say scoffing and walking away from him.

The nerve of that guy..his ego is bigger than his freakin head..

"That didn't sound too good," Mason commented, looking over at Tommy.

"It's fine. No big deal." I insist.

"That song was deep." Jamie said, looking at me concerned.

"It's fine Jamie, don't worry about it." I smile, trying to lighten the mood.

"So birthday girl, you look hot," Speid says, looking me over. I just smile and roll my eyes, pushing his shoulder.

"Thanks." And then I spot Kwest over by Darius so I walked over to them and took Kwest in a huge comfy hug.

"Thank you." I say, breaking away from him. He's like my support group...except it's just him.

"No need to thank me. You did this on your own." He says. I shake my head and turn to Darius.

"What did you think about the song?" I ask, hopefully.

"Definitely going on the next album..and we need to talk about Tom and his services at G-major. But right now I want you to enjoy your birthday." He says, patting my shoulder and then walking off. I don't know what he means by that and I'm not sure I want to know..

"You did great, Jude." Kwest says, smiling down at me.

Just then Tommy comes up to Darius with Destany at his side. Ah..so she did come. They were both soaking wet and their hair was matted to their faces. Ha..she didn't look so pretty wet.

He was whispering something in Darius' ear and I could tell by Darius' expression that whatever he was saying wasn't something good.

"What do you think he's saying?" I ask Kwest, keeping my eyes on Darius and Tommy.

"Who knows?" He says.

After a few minutes Darius and Tommy walked off into another room. Um, whats going on? Oh well..can't be that important.

"Thanks so much." I say once again before leaving Kwest with a now approaching Sadie. I walked back over to my friends and Speid and I started a very interesting conversation about gummy bears and which flavor tastes the best..it quickly turned into a humorous argument. In other words..we had Jamie, Kat, and Mason cracking up. But it wasn't before long that Tommy and Darius reapeared. Darius had a mic and started hushing people.

"Everyone, It was just on the news that theres a hurricane hitting Toronto. Why we are just finding this out? I don't know and I'm pissed about it. Tom checked outside earlier and said it wasn't driving condition. It looks like everyone is going to have to stay here tonight unless you want to take the chance..I advise you stay." He says, receiving everyones attention and almost everyone was outraged.

A hurricane? On my birthday? Why me? How come we didn't know about this? I mean I knew it was going to storm..but no one said anything about a hurricane.

"Looks like we're stuck here." Kat says, half-smiling.

"Wonderful." Mason sarcastically states.

"You know what that means?" Kat asks me.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Tommy's staying." She says, trying not to smile. Why would she smile? About something like that? That was horrible..I might end up killing him and I really don't want to be sent to prison any time soon.

"Why me?" I groan, looking up and then looking around the room and finding Tommy on the other side with Destany. He had his arm around her and I couldn't help but wince at the sight.

Kwest then announced that they had to turn the music and some of the lights off because of the lightning going on outside. Well..this was going to be fun..

**A/N - Ok I just want to say first off that most of you probably have read the story "The blackout"..and if you haven't then you should because it's awesome. But anyway, for those of you who have, I am NOT stealing that idea. This is going to be nothing like that..I just wanted you to know that. Thanks again for the reviews and please review this chappy:)**


	9. Chapter 8 Hideaway

**A/N - Thanks so much for the reviews! I was so happy to read them and I'm glad you all liked last chappy. Now..quick warning..it might be a few days before I get the next chappy out because for some reason i'm having a hard time writing it. Oh..and this has a bunch of people's pov. You get to see what Tommy is thinking for once..**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 8 - Hideaway**

**Tommy's Pov -**

I can't help but feel guilty for everything I ever did to her. I don't blame her for hating me, all I've ever done was cause her pain and I know I can't take it back. I shouldn't have said what I said to her..she was Jealous. She probably was, but can I blame her? Now I am not trying to sound cocky. I led the girl on for so long..can I even call it leading her on? I did feel for her..I do feel for her. I can't feel for her.

"Looks like we're not going to be catching that late movie, huh?" Destany asks, looking up at me. God I feel like such an asshole.

"Sorry girl." I say, kissing her forehead.

"It's okay Tommy." She says. If she could only pry into my thoughts..the things she would hear..the things I've been keeping from her. Not saying I don't feel for her. I do, but nothing compared to what I feel..felt..feel.. for Jude.

"I love you." She says, snuggling into my shoulder. I wince at that word. That manipulative word that always gets to me.

"I..love you too," I say. She looks up at me and smiles. I'm such an asshole.

**Jude's Pov -**

After thanking everyone for their gifts and even coming tonight and apologizing for the weather, I excuse myself and walk into studio C where the lights were off. I didn't turn them on, instead I grabbed my guitar and sat down in a corner, strumming softly to myself. I don't need to see the guitar. I am just playing..the music is flowing out of me and I can't stop it. I don't want to stop it. This is my comfort zone.

_"Hideaway...save me from the world_

_Come what may..I'll always be your girl.._

_Live this lie..I will not cry.._

_Oh, hideaway.."_

Just then the door opened, revealing a little bit of light and I saw someone standing in the doorway..it was a girl..a tall skinny girl..oh god.

"Can I help you?" I ask, a bit harshly. Oh well.

"Jude? Is that you?" She closes the door behind her and comes over to me while bending down and trying to see my face.

"Yeah." I say.

"Oh, do you mind if we talk?" She asks, sitting next to me. Why did she even ask me? Shes already making herself comfortable.

"Okay..talk." I say, stroking the strings lightly and creating a soft faint melody.

"Look, I know how you feel about Tommy-"

"Can we please skip this? I don't need a pep talk from you." I bark. Some people just don't know when to stay back and leave something alone. She is obviously one of them. Oh, and if you haven't guessed already..yes, it is barbie..aka: Destany.

"Jude, I don't want us to be enemies, okay? I want us to be friends." She says, I could hear her smile. Does that even make sense? Can't she tell I'm not in the mood for this? I sigh and set my guitar next to me.

"Look Destany, we're fine, okay?" I say, trying my best to sound sincere. I really didn't have anything against her..

She stayed quiet a few minutes and I couldn't figure out why she was still sitting here. I mean come on..Tommy was out there waiting for her..why was she in here with me?

"He told me everything that happened between you two.." She says to me. And here comes the sympathy that I don't want.

"Yeah..well." I say, shrugging her statement off.

"I know it hurts." She says. Okay now shes really pushing it.

"But I promise, It'll heal and you'll be able to love again." She says, still smiling. What the hell? She is giving me a love lesson? I'm sure shes never had her heart broken. Look at her.. she looks like she just stepped out of a Victoria's secret magazine. She is beautiful.

"I really don't want to be hearing this right now." I say, trying to keep my cool.

"Really Jude, when you meet that someone-" Okay barbie..

"Look, I don't care, okay? I'm fine. It's over. I don't need to hear it from you. Besides, you have no room to tell me anything about love. I am not a kid that needs a lecture and if I did need a lecture it would not be from you. Why the hell are you with him anyway? I'm sure you don't even know that his real name isn't Quincy. Did you?" She doesn't say anything so I nod.

"Didn't think so." I say, getting up and walking toward the door. But I just couldn't leave it at that..she pushed me too far. So I turn around and continue my rant.

"Or how about..did you know he's french? Oh, and that he has a drinking problem? Is there anything you know about him besides he use to be in a boyband?" I ask. Once again she says nothing. I think I got to her..

"And _you_ are telling me." I say, walking out of the room and slamming the door behind me.

And now I feel stupid..now she knows I still feel for her fiance. I didn't mean for any of that to come out..Whatever..she pushed me to the limit.

When I got out to the main lobby everyone was sitting around, some on couches and some on the floor. I immediately spotted Yvette and my dad together and Mom and Don together. Then I saw Tommy and Kwest together..weird. I then saw Jamie and the rest of my friends and headed in their direction.

**No one's Pov -**

"So how have you been?" Kwest asked Tommy. Tommy ran his hand through his hair and shrugged.

"Alright man, how about you?" Tommy asked.

"I've had my hands full with Jude's new album and all." Kwest says, giving Tommy the look..the one he was so famous for. The one telling him that he made the biggest mistake of his life.

"It sounds good." Tommy says, trying to get the conversation going in a different direction.

While this was going on..

-Jude and her friends-

"Speid, come on, we're eighteen..we're too old to play truth or dare." Jude says, shaking her head at Speid's comment and playful, childish weirdness.

"You can only be kids once..and who says it has to be the PG-Thirteen truth or dare? We're all mature adults here..so what do ya say?" He said with a devilish grin on his face.

"I don't know.." Sadie said, eyeing Jude carefully. The others just nodded, the others being Jamie, Kat, Mason, Jude, Patsy, Wally and Kyle.

"Good..let the games begin." Speid said, smirking.

**Jude's Pov -**

So I sat there completely nervous. I knew Speid and I knew he was sweet and all..but he was also capable of being completely evil.

Thank god all the adults gathered around on the other side of G-Major. They were probably talking about sleeping arrangements. Oh and yes, barbie made her way back to Tommy. He held his arm around her like a prize. Ptt, some prize. We were in the hallway where no one could see us. Only we could see the adults. No one seemed to miss us.

"Jude?" Patsy's deep voice brought me from my thoughts.

"Yea?" I ask.

"Are you going to answer or not?" She asks, giving me the weirdest look. Okay, I'm not stupid Patsy..stop looking at me like that.

"Truth." I say. Plain and simple..I don't trust her with dare. She rolls her eyes as if she knew I was going to say truth. And then a smirk appears on her face. Oh god..I don't like that.

"Are you a virgin, blondie?" She asks. I look around at all the wide eyes staring at me. Okay so obviously everyone wants to know the deal. Do they really think that low of me? I then look at Speid and he is smiling like he's never smiled before. And he said we were _all _mature adults. Real mature Speid..

"Jude, just answer the question." Sadie says, giving me a weird look. Not her too..

"Yes..I'm a virgin, okay?" I say, irritation clearly showing through my voice. A few people shrugged and I could see Sadie let out a huge sigh of relief. Since when did she start caring?

"My turn." I say, scoping out the group. My eyes land on a new person who approached us.

"Kwest." I say, smiling. He looks up at me and raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah?" He asks, sitting down next to Sadie.

"Truth or Dare?" I ask, watching a smile form on his face.

"Jude, I'm too old for those games," He says, pushing my question away.

And then to all of our surprise, Sadie hit his arm playfully and told him to be a good sport and join in. And an even bigger surprise..he listened.

"Alright, alright..Dare." He says as if he just answered the one million dollar question on Who wants to be a millionaire. I nod and bite my lip, trying to figure out something for him to do. Hmm..what could I make him do? Dance in front of everyone? Nah, that's not bad enough..give Tommy a lapdance? Haha! wow..nah I don't think barbie would appreciate that too much. Oh! I know!

"I dare you to... kiss Sadie," I say, smirking.

Sadie widened her eyes and took a quick glance at Kwest before looking back at me.

"Jude, come on.." Sadie says.

"What? It's just a kiss." Kat defends. Sadie glared at Kat and then looked back at Kwest who was looking at her. Sadie gave him an 'I'm sorry.' look and he just smiled.

"Thats my dare?" He asks, looking at me for a brief moment. I nod.

"Thats your dare." I say. And then he does it. And let me tell you..that was one heated kiss. It took a while before they even decided to break away. Once they broke away, everyone was staring at them. Sadie was blushing and Kwest was keeping his eyes on her.

"Wow..okay! I think It's Kwest's turn?" Speid said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh, Um.." Kwest says, looking around at our group. He goes to say something but before he could get the words out a loud bang brought our attention to the lobby. I saw a boy about..maybe twenty one at the most walk in and stare over at the adults. I'm assuming he knows one of them?

"Oh my god.." I heard Kwest mutter. Kwest know him?

"Who is that?" I ask, confused. He turned to me and bit his lip before retorting..

"Tommy's younger brother."

**A/N - So? Watcha think? Hope y'all like it :) love you guys and please review..I'll update as soon as I can.**


	10. Chapter 9 Pop star wannabe

**A/N - Hey you guys..Wow..Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm so happy:)..I hope this chapter makes up for yesterday...and me not posting sooner. But I'm afraid that it might be a while before I post next chappy too because I haven't even started yet :( sorry. But thanks again and keep reviewing, It makes me way happy:)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 9 - Pop star wannabe**

"Tommy has a younger brother?" I ask, breathlessly. No way..how come I didn't know that? Maybe because I never asked..yeah that might be why.

"Actually, he has two brothers. One older, one younger." Sadie interrupted, drawing everyones attention.

"What? you are looking at a former Boyz Attacker." Sadie defended. I just shook my head and looked back at the boy.

"God, I haven't seen Ace since he was..what..fourteen?" Kwest says. We're both still eyeing this boy. He resembles Tommy so much..except he has more of a bad boy look to him. Ha, hard to imagine, isn't it? More than Tommy. But man was he cute..

"Ace?" I ask. Weird name.

"Nick name. His name is Jason." He says.

"Are we going to continue the game?" Patsy asks, impatiently. I turn back to her and shrug.

"Kwest, dude, It's your turn." Kyle reminds and then the rest of them started the game back..me on the other hand, I keep my eyes glued to the sight below me.

**-No one's Pov -**

Jason stood in the middle of the lobby with his hair matted to his face. He was dripping wet and he was breathing hard from the rain and wind that went on outside.

"I told you to wait at the hotel." Tommy barked, walking up to his younger brother and looking down at him as if trying to intimidate him.

"I was sight seeing and I got lost. _So_ sorry." Jason stated, sarcastically. Tommy gave him a look and Jason rolled his eyes.

"Look, I've been walking for the past hour..I'm not walking back. In case you haven't noticed theres some pretty strong winds out there and I almost had to swim over here." Ace says, receiving a sigh from Tommy.

"What is this anyway?" He continues, looking around at the streamers and banners.

"A party?" He says, hopefulness in his voice.

"Yeah, and you weren't invited." Tommy said, coldly.

"Look _'Lil' Tommy Q'.." _Jason started, coming closer to Tommy.

"Jason." A deep voice erupted from behind Tommy.

"Long time no see." Darius said, doing a little hand shake thing with Jason.

"Good to see ya, man." Jason said in response, his tone becoming more friendly.

**Jude's Pov -**

Oh man..he even talks like Tommy.

"I dare you to kiss Jamie." Sadie said. Who was she talking to? I turn my head to see whats going on.

"Um, he's going out with Patsy you know." Kat says, biting her lip.

"It's just a kiss." Sadie mocked. Kat glared at her and then looked at Jamie.

"Jamie?"

"Just kiss her," Patsy said, looking at Sadie with a 'Just wait' look. Oh boy..that didn't look good.

Jamie did as instructed and the kiss quickly intensified. Ha! I knew they still liked eachother! I think Jamie is scared to break up with Patsy..I mean..I would be too.

"Okay enough liplocking Andrews." Pastsy said, pulling Jamie away by his shoulder.

Haha..Patsy does get jealous. Jamie let go of Kat and looked down at his hands without meeting eye contact with his girlfriend. That didn't look good..and Patsy definitely didn't look happy.

"Whoa, okay..Kat, it's your turn." Speid said. God..that boy is such an instagator.

"Um..I think I've had enough." Kat timidly responded, getting up.

"Aww come on." Speid said, frowning. Kat ignored his plea and walked off..so I decided to follow.

--

I found her walking down the steps on her way to the lobby.

"Kat." I say, stopping her. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, are you okay?" I wish her and Jamie would just work out thier problems and get together already.

"Yeah..yeah I'm fine. I just don't want to play anymore." She says. That was so not convincing.

"Alright then we wont play." I say, smiling at her reassuringly. She smiles and nods.

"Good..'cause I'm starving." She says and we both laugh, walking down the rest of the steps and heading over to where the adults were. I immediately spotted Jason, Tommy, and Barbie together. Ugh.

"What do you want?" Kat says, grabbing two plates off of the table and handing me one. What did I want? haha..good question.

"Actually..I'm not that hungry. You go ahead." I say and she gives me a weird look.

"Really..go on." I assure and she finally continues to fill up her plate.

Now I see Mason coming over.

"Hey..is that really Tommy's brother?" He asks.

"That's what Kwest said." I shrug and we both look over at Jason who is surprisingly looking at me. Oh my god..he's looking at _me_! Whoa..No..Chill Jude. He's related to Tommy..Tommy equals trouble. Trouble equals Jason.

"He's cute." Mason whispers in my ear and I can't help but laugh. He cracks me up. Oh my..What's he doing? He's coming over..No..Stay..

"You Jude?" He asks, finally reaching me. Uh, what kind of question is that?

"Yeah..who are you?" I ask, acting clueless. He doesn't say anything though, just stands there staring at me. Why is he looking at me like that?

"So you're Jude Harrison? The one my brother is producing?" He asks, almost laughing. He sounded disgusted and amused at the same time. What's his deal?

"_Was_ producing." I correct in the same tone he used with me.

"Same difference. I can't believe he wasted his time on someone like you."

"Someone like me?" I ask, breathlessly. Okay..I'm starting not to like this kid.

"Yeah. Some untalented popstar wannabe." He says. And he's using that tone..you know that tone that makes you feel stupid, small, and defenseless? Yeah, that one.

"Popstar wannabe?" I ask, my voice rising a bit. And I didn't care at the moment.

"Look..I think you should leave her alone." Mason stepped in. Jason laughed and hit Mason's cowboy hat down over his eyes.

"Don't get your panies in a bunch there partner." He said with an attempt of a southern accent. Mason started towards him but I held my arm out to stop him. Jason laughed and shook his head, walking back over to Tommy and Barbie. Once the kid got over there Tommy immediately looked over at me and I'm guessing he figured out what had happened. He gave me a look that basically said sorry but..you know he really wasn't.

Oh yes..this was going to be a very long night.

After all that happened me, Kat, and Mason decided to head into studio C where I had talked to Barbie earlier. We were in there for a little while just talking about anything and everything..but mostly we listened to Kat and how much she missed Jamie. I feel so bad for her..she loves him so much. They tried to get me to talk about Tommy but..I couldn't.

"I'm fine you guys." I say, smiling a huge fake smile that Kat and Mason both saw through. But before either of the two could say anything, the studio door opened and well..my nightmare walked in.

"Hey guys, could I talk to Jude alone for a few minutes?" He asked, softly. Kat smiled at me and then walked passed him and out of the room. Mason gave him a look before saying "I don't like your brother." And then he left. Heh..funny..

Tommy walked all the way in and then closed the door again. Back to darkness..maybe it was good that it was dark. Crap, he had a candle and matches. Since when did G-Major have candles? As if reading my mind..he responds-

"Portia is obsessed with candles." And then he sits next to me and places the candle in between us. I just nod and watch the flame dance. For a long while we just sit there in silence. A nice comfortable...oh who am I kidding? You know how uncomofortable I am? I'm sitting next to the person who I want to hate so bad and I just can't. I can't hate him.

"Jude." He says in a low and husky voice. I don't say anything but I do look over and meet his eyes. His cloudy blue eyes..they were staring. Staring at me. Seeing me..through me. He knows I don't hate him..

"I'm sorry." He says. No..

I look away and my eyes meet the candle. I will not cry. Don't do it Jude!

"I'm so sorry girl." He repeats. And I can't help it anymore. I close my eyes as I feel them fill with unshed tears. My back starts to shake and the tears slowly and harshly escape my eyes. Just when I think I'm breaking the most..I feel two strong arms wrap around me and I can't handle it anymore. I melt into his chest and cry into the softness of his T-shirt. Slowly whispering 'Why' over and over again, my fist pounds softly against his shoulder. Not enough to hurt him..but enough to show him the pain that I've been through. The pain that he put me through. But he just sits there, stroking my hair softly and letting me cry. Why? This irritates me. After I regain my mind I push against his chest and wipe my eyes.

"You did this to me Tommy." I say, in between sobs. He justs sits there nodding. No! Don't freakin nod! Don't agree with me! I need you to disagree! I need to hate you.

He reaches out again, trying to bring me closer to him but I push his hand away.

"Don't Tommy..Just don't." I sob, still trying to regain power in this situation.

"What do you want me to do Jude?" He asks, his voice still as soft as ever. I swear..he's going to be the death of me.

"I don't know." I say, finally regaining my voice. Kind of..

"You want to know why I left?" He asks. His voice was so calm...so different. Do I want to know why he left? No..no I don't. Not anymore. I shake my head and he just stares at me.

"What do you want then Jude?" He asks. I don't know anymore. So I just continue to shake my head..and he stays silent. After a few minutes I break out laughing and he stares at me like i'm retarded.

"Your. Brother. Hates me." I manage to get out inbetween laughs. He just smiles and shakes his head.

"Jason's a moron." He says. Runs in the family I guess..oh that was mean. I take that back. Heh.

"No..he's right. Have you heard my new stuff? It's crap." I say. Which is true..

"Jude..I know this is soon and I know you probably still hate me, but..I want to be your producer again." He says. Once again...can you believe the nerve of this guy? Yet I just sit here speechless. And let me tell you..I don't want to be speechless. I want to yell and scream and strangle him. But I can't.

"You don't have to answer now. It was really Darius' idea..but I definitely agree with him. I miss you girl." He says. Girl...I miss him calling me that.

"You hurt me Tommy." I say. Thank god..you know how hard it was for me to say that? It's not easy to admit something like that.

"I know." He said.

"As long as you know.." I say, getting up and kicking his leg. Not hard, though. He just smiles up at me and I leave him in there. I left my heart in there..once again.

**A/N - So? Whatcha think? Thanks again you guys..I love each and every one of you:) Please continue reviewing?**


	11. Chapter 10 Teach me

**A/N - Thanks so much for the reviews you guys:) I appreciate each and every one of them. Now..I don't know if y'all will like this chappy or not but I hope you do..I had alot of fun writing it :D Please keep reviewing? Love you guys!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 10 - Teach me**

When I left Tommy in there.. I think we reached an understanding. Though nothing was really said..I think we now understand eachother in a deeper meaning. I don't know..maybe it's just me.

"Jude? You okay?" Kat asked, looking up at me with concern. I wipe my eyes and nod.

"Yeah, I think everythings going to be okay from now on." I say, smiling. Mason was standing next to Kat going on and on about how outspoken and pig-headed Jason was. Haha I can't believe he's still talking about that.

"I'll be right back," I say, walking towards Jason, who was sitting with Barbie at a nearby table.

"Hey Bar-" I clear my throat, "Destany, can I borrow him for a second?" I ask, pulling Jason by his shoulder. Yeah I know..I barely know this boy, but he's related to Tommy. Meaning..we'll probably get along in the end. And if not..oh well. Barbie shrugs and I pull Jason over to the corner of the studio.

"What are you doing?" He says, jerking his arm away from me.

"You and I are going to write a song." I say simply, shrugging.

"Excuse me?" He says, amused.

"You heard me." I say, now pulling him into Darius' office where I find a few blank sheets of paper and a pen. By now the lightning had actually knocked the lights out and everyone was holding candles. Everyone except me..thank god Jason had one.

"You're serious?" He asks, once again jerking his arm away. I nod and hold the papers out in his direction.

"If you have room to criticise.." I say, smiling.

He snorts and shakes his head.

"I don't have time for this.." He says, starting towards the door.

"Don't have time? You'll have plenty of time on your hands over the next twenty four hours..according to the news reporters. But if your scared that you won't be able to do any better than a 'Popstar wannabe'..I'll understad." I say, smirking. He stopped dead in his tracks and I could swear that I hear him grinding his teeth. He turned around to face me with an amused look on his face.

"Scared? Alright..you're on." He says, snatching a paper out of my hand and sliding down the wall to the floor. I smile and sit down next to him. I can tell he's nervous..it's kind of cute.

"Why were you crying anyway?" He asks after a few minutes of silence. He hadn't written anything on the paper yet..but I could tell he was thinking. I wipe my eyes self conciously and let out a breath.

"What? I wasn't crying." I say, trying to sound convincing. And theres that look again. The one that makes me feel stupid. Stupid Quincies..

"Oh, no?" He asks, lifting his hand slowly. Uh..what is he doing?

His hand brushes my cheek lightly and I tremble at his touch. So light..so gentle..so like Tommy's.

He pulls his hand away to reveal a single drop of wetness on his finger. I bite my lip and look up at him.

"Okay..you weren't crying." He says, wiping the tear off of his finger and going back to his writing- this time he actually scribbled some words down.

"So..you're Jason, right?" I ask, timidly. He nods and continues writing. Not much of a talker, eh? I can change that..

"You weren't in a boy band too, were you?" I ask. Okay okay so now I _am_ trying to get on his nerves. I know..I'm being bad. But it's just too fun. He looks up at me and nearly chokes on his own air.

"You're kidding, right?" He asks, giving me the look. I shrug and shake my head.

"No. I wasn't in a boy band. Leave it to Tom to give our family a bad name." He said with disgust. Tommy give their family a bad name? Just because he followed his dream?

"I wouldn't say that." I say, defending Tommy. Why? Eh..you know I still care.

"Oh you wouldn't, huh?" He asks, setting the paper aside.

"No..I wouldn't. Tommy made it big. He did what he loved and look where he is now..I respect him for that." I say. Where is all this coming from?

"Oh yeah..he made it big alright by shaking his ass in front of a camera. You want to call that proud? I'd hoped you had more sense than that." He said.

"People make mistakes, not that I'm saying what he did was a mistake. Though he does regret it..he shouldn't. Alot of people liked their group, even though I'm not one of them." I say.

Jason shakes his head.

"You're one of a kind Miss Jude Harrison. I just met you and I already can't stand you." He says, grinning. Yes..grinning, not smirking. I smile sweetly.

"Well, then I think I've reached my goal." I say. He just stares at me for a few minutes after that in bewilderment. I love it..

Okay so now he's back to writing. Now I get to examine him. Can you say gorgeous? He has the same ocean blue piercing eyes and the same knock the wind out of you grin. The only thing different about the two is that Tommy had the aged look. Jason still looked like a teenager. Hey, not saying Tommy looks old..just Jason looks more young. Crap..he caught me staring.

"Something interesting you're looking at?" He asks, amusement written all over his face.

"Sorry..you just look alot like Tommy." I say, half-smiling. He rolls his eyes.

"God..Don't say that." He says. I laugh.

"Okay, sorry." I say.

Then we are back to silence until he finally finishes his writing.

"There." He says, handing the paper to me. I read over the words that are written before me. They shock the hell out of me. What the heck?

"Wow.." I breathe out. He smirks.

"Better than you thought, huh?" He asks with a coy smile. I glare at him but I can't deny. I didn't think he was going to be able to write something that good. This might be the most emotional peice of writing I've ever read..

"What do you do anyway?" I ask, reading over the words again.

"I'm a song writer, didn't you know?" He asks. I look up at him totally shocked and he starts laughing.

"Nah, I own a tattoo parlor back home." He says.

"Ah, so you are creative in more than one way?" I say, smiling.

"Oh I'm creative in tons of ways, Jude." He says, smirking. Whoa..is he hitting on me? Okay well..if he is..I don't know.

"So, am I done here?" He asks. Ugh..yeah and he has total bragging rights now. His writing is awesome and I can't even compare.

"Yep..sorry I doubted you." I say, sincerely. He just shakes his head and shrugs. After getting up and swiftly walking towards the door he turns around and gives me a short stare.

"And Jude.." He says, catching my attention.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Your songs aren't that bad. Just come and find me if you want some schoolin'" He says and then walks out into the darkness.

Ugh..that kid made no sense. He could be so nice and then again turn around and be the biggest jerk. I just met him and I feel like I know him.. He left the candle in here with me. I quickly decide to get out of Darius' office because small dark places are not exactly where I prefer to be..

**No one's Pov -**

Tommy watched Jason exit the studio and the candle illuminated the slight smile on his face. Tommy immediately felt a jolt of uneasiness when he saw Jude exit the room a few minutes after his brother. Why were they in there alone? There was no need for that.

Tommy excused himself from Destany and then caught up with Jason who was retreating to the lobby's kitchen.

"Hey." Tommy greeted, walking up beside Jason. Jason looked up at Tommy with amusement showing through his eyes.

"Hey." He mimicked.

"Where have you been?" Tommy asked, acting as if he didn't see them walk out of the room. Jason smiled down at the counter and Tommy felt even more uneasy.

"Places." Jason said.

"Don't play stupid Jason. Where have you been?" Tommy growled. Jason looked up and the amusement that was in his eyes before was gone and now they were clouded with anger.

"Oh you mean for the past hour or so? I was just in D's office with everyone's favorite Instant Star." He shrugs, "Who knew the girl put out on the first date?" Jason probed. Tommy's eyes nearly buldged out of his eye sockets.

"Look, you don't touch her, understand?" Tommy said, grabbing Jason by the front of his T-shirt. Jason pushed Tommy away as if it were nothing and waved his comment off.

"What's it to you anyway? Did you screw her or something?" Jason asked. Tommy rolled his eyes.

"You did, didn't you? Huh, I never thought you went for jailbait." Jason almost laughed which caused Tommy's anger to soar.

"Look man just stay away from her. She's been through alot and she doesn't need you to top it off." Tommy says, clenching his fists. Jason smiles and shrugs.

"Guess that'll be for her to decide, huh Q?" Jason says, walking past Tommy and leaving him in the kitchen by himself. Tommy slammed his fist on the counter and brought his hands to his forehead as he leaned against the counter top.

**A/N - So? What did you guys think? Oh! and I have a new story idea for when I finish this one...haha..I think it's an awesome idea..what yall think? - Jude, Tommy, Darius, SME, etc.Are all driving to some meeting thing..where? I haven't decided yet..but it's a long way from Toronto and they are all taking seperate cars and somewhere they take a wrong turn...OH! did I mention it's gonna be a horror:p Whatcha think? Should I do it? Oh and please review this chappy? I need feedback:)**


	12. Chapter 11 Not this time

**A/N - Wow..hey everyone! Thanks so much for the reviews! They were awesome! (sniff) I've been so darn sick lately..seriously..I was in bed for like two says..I'm trying to keep up with the story and keep it interesting. Hope it still is? But I still feel horrible..(sneeze) Ugh. (sigh) Thanks again everyone and please continue to review?**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 11 - Not this time**

**Jude's Pov -**

After I come out of Darius' office it is already 12:00, surprisingly. I walk over to my mom and dad and talk to them for a while and also thank them for their gifts. Did I mention that a few minutes ago I saw Sadie and Kwest walk out of the janitor's closet together? Huh..I guess a hurricane brings everyone together. Sadie is now striaghtening her dress out and Kwest is smoothing his dress shirt down. Haha, how obvious can they be?

"Hey Sadie," I say, smirking and walking away from my parents, "Where have you been? You look flushed." I continue. She narrows her eyes and smiles at me.

"So you know?" Sadie asks, not really acting like she cares too much.

"Yep. I think it's cute. I like Kwest...he's like my brother. Be good." I say, giving her a look. She mocks hurt and starts laughing.

"I like Kwest too." She says. I nod and smile.

"So is it just me or did I see you walk out of the room a few minutes after Jason?" Sadie asks, raising an eyebrow at me. I smile down at the candle I'm holding.

"Oh so I saw right? Okay spill." She urges, sounding all giddy. Ugh..I hate when she's like this.

"Nothing. He made me mad so I told him we were going to write a song...and well..he wrote a song and proved me wrong..badly." I say, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"That's it? You were in a room alone with Tom's cute and as far as I know _available _brother and all you did was sit around and write songs?" She asked, disappointment dripping with each word. I shrug and nod.

"Jude...that's so like you." She says, shaking her head and walking off. So like me? What was I suppose to do? Jump his bones right then and there? Haha that's funny..Jump his bones. Eh..whatever. It was nice..being around someone who didn't like my music. Weird as that sounds..most everyone I know and I've been around likes my music or atleast _acts _like they like my music. He on the other hand tells me the truth. I like that.

Since it was getting late most of the adults fell asleep near the walls. Kat and Jamie had also crashed but Patsy and SME were still up. I hadn't seen Tommy, Barbie or Portia in a while..eh they probably fell asleep.

Since I figured there was nothing else to do and I really didn't feel like goofing around with Speid and the group at the minute, I walk over to studio C and grab my guitar and then go sit in the hallway where no one could see or hear me..so I thought. I set my candle down next to me and start singing.

_"Hideaway...save me from the world_

_Come what may..I'll always be your girl.._

_Live this lie..I will not cry.._

_Oh, hideaway.." _

I say, strumming lightly. Ugh..I can't figure out anything passed that. Why is my mind so blocked?

"_Disguise my lies..I'll use my pain.._

_To hide my eyes, From what remains_

_For you I cry.."_

No..I don't like that. It doesn't fit. Who said it has to fit? It's just a song, right? Not every song has to tell a story..not every song has to have a meaning.

"Jude?" A faint voice comes from the end of the hallway and I look up to see Tommy standing there.

"Hey..did I wake you?" I ask, feeling bad.

"No..I couldn't sleep. Destany is out though." He says, coming up and sitting next to me like he did earlier.

"What were you playing?" He asks, sitting his candle down. I shrug.

"Just trying to get some stuff out." I say. He nods.

"Can I hear?" He asks. Tommy wants to hear..oh man.

"It's not finished." I say. Now he's going to know somethings up..I used to always play my songs for him. What makes now any different? Oh I know! He left me for like a year..that does change things a little.

"Jude..come on." He says..almost pleading. Ugh..damn you Quincy.

"Alright..this is what I have so far." I say, without looking at him. I felt his eyes burning me. I hate it when he does this..well..No, I actually love it. I think..God. I don't even know what I feel anymore. Do I feel?

_"Hideaway.."_ My voice cracks. Is it nerves? Maybe..or maybe it's the fact that I don't hate Tommy and the fact that he's sitting this close to me and the fact that I'm trying my hardest to focus _on _the fact that he _is_ getting _married_. He is taken now. There is no longer a Tommy and Jude. There is no longer _us._

"Sorry." I say, clearing my throat. He smiles at me and I look back down at my hands which are now slightly shaking. I start strumming again and try to sing.

"_Hideaway..save me from the world."_ I manage to get out. I feel his hand on my knee. When did it get there?

"_Come what may..I'll always be your gi-" _I stop and close my eyes. His touch is just too much. He is now rubbing my knee. What is he doing? He is getting married. I mean..Is he trying to comfort me or..

"What is it?" He cooes. God his voice is so soft and gentle. So is his touch. I can't do this. Doesn't he know what he's doing to me? He has to know how I feel. I mean come on each and every song he's heard so far from me since he's been back has basically explained to him how I feel about him. How much I lo-hate him. How much he screwed me up. How freakin crazy I've become.

"I can't..I'm sorry." I say, getting up and leaving the guitar in the hallway along with my candle.

"Jude!" I hear him calling me but I can't turn around. If I do I will make a huge mistake..and I don't want to make that mistake. Not this time.

After reaching my destination I curl up against the wall and allow myself to drift into an unsweet slumber.

**Tommy's Pov -**

"Jude!" I cried out, trying to reach her. She didn't turn around, only kept walking. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm getting married. I love Destany. Why is it that I can't say that aloud? Actuallly, why is it I _can't_ say it aloud without having an awful feeling come over me. Is it guilt? Probably. I am guilty. Guilty of holding on. Guilty of lying. And guilty of possessing these damn feelings for a girl I could never have and probably will never have. Probably? There's no doubt. I will never have her.

**No one's Pov-**

"I can't believe my eyes." Another voice came from the end of the hallway which caused Tommy to turn and look in it's direction. Tommy brought his hand to his forehead when he saw who it was.

"After all this time." The person continued.

"Please man, not now." Tommy groaned as the person came and sat next to him.

"Dude..you have feelings for Jude. There's no doubt about it. You can't do this to Destany."

"Don't you think I know that?..God, I was good. Everything was fine until I came back here." Tommy said, anger rising in his voice.

"Why _did_ you come back?" The person asked. Tommy looked them in the eye for a few minutes before sighing.

"I had to tell her why I left." He said.

"Why didn't you write? You could have called."

Tommy shook his head.

"I needed to tell her face to face. Now she doesn't even want to know. And ever since I got back and saw her again.."

"I know." Kwest said. Tommy shook his head.

"What am I going to do?" Tommy asked,

"I don't know man..but you better make up your mind quick 'cause your brother is moving in on her." Kwest said, getting up and leaving Tommy to think.

"What am I going to do.." Tommy murmered, watching the flame dance until it finally went out.

--

**Jude's Pov -**

I wake up to the sound of Darius' cheerful voice. And yes, I said cheerful. Weird, huh?

"It's okay to drive home. Everyone drive safe." He says, well actually shouts. I wipe the sleep from my eyes and look around me. Most everyone was already up.

"Jude, we're leaving." My mom says as she and Sadie walk up to me. I pull myself up from the floor and yawn.

"Alright..I'll be home later." I say, hugging my mom.

"Okay..Don't make it too late. The storm my start back up." My mom warns and I nod.

"Bye Sadie." I say, watching the two walk out. Sadie waves and the door closes behind them.

"Pop star." I turn around to see Jason standing in front of me.

"Oh..hey." I say, smiling.

"You stickin' around?" He asks. Does he want me to stick around? Well regardless, I am.

"Yeah..I have recording and since I'm already here." I say, shrugging.

"Ah..and you are going to be recording in that?" He asks, pointing to my dress. I look down and notice I'm still _in_ a dress. I completely forgot.

"Oh..well..hopefully, no." I laugh. He smirks.

"Hey!" Kat says, coming up to me and Jason. Great timing Kat..

"Hey." I say, smiling timidly.

"I'll see you around, Jude." Jason says before walking off. Darn you Kat..

"What's wrong with him?" Kat asks. I shrug.

"Not much of a talker?" I offer. She gives me a look.

"So then..if you guys weren't talking in Darius' office last night..what were you doing?" She asks, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"Does everyone know we were in Darius' office last night?" I groan.

"Everyone except him." She shrugs.

"We _were_ just talking." I say.

"Uh huh." She says, smiling.

"Kat..come on." I say.

"And here I thought someone was actually getting some action besides Kwest and Sadie around here." She says, sighing. We both start to laugh and then I see Tommy approaching me.

"Hey Jude..can we talk?" He asks. Ugh..not now Quincy.

"Um, I'll talk to you later." Kat says, hitting my shoulder reassuringly and then she starts to walk away. No! Kat..don't leave!

"Sure." I say and he nods and then looks down. I can tell he's struggling for words.

"Jude..about last night." He starts, not looking up.

"Tommy..It's fine okay? It never happened." I'm More so trying to convince myself than him. Now he looks up at me with horror written all over his face.

"I'm sorry." He murmers but I just wave off his apology.

"Tom?" A new voice entered our conversation. Another person who has bad timing.

"Are you ready?" Destany continues, throwing her arm around Tommy's waist and setting her head on his shoulder. I wince at the sight before me.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just telling him that I'd like it if he were my producer again. Sorry to keep you waiting." I say, smiling. Okay I know the chick definitely don't like me but come on..a girl's got to have a little fun, right?

Tommy smiled and stared down at the floor.

"Oh, really?" Destany asked, looking up at Tommy. Tommy nodded slowly.

"See you guys later." I say, still smiling and walking off.

"See you monday." I hear Tommy say before I walk into Darius' office to tell him the news.

**A/N - So? What did you guys think? Hope you liked it..please keep reviewing? There is more drama to come, I promise:)**


	13. Chapter 12 Mondays events

**A/N - Thanks you guys..I'm still sick but I gues I'm getting a little better. Ugh..being sick sucks. Anywho..I liked writing this chapter...I don't know..It was just fun lol. Love you guys and I hope you like the chappy! Please review?**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 12 - Mondays events**

**Jude's Pov -**

Monday came quickly..well considering my party was on Friday and I came home on Saturday. Kwest took the news _okay_. It was hard for me to tell him though..I mean, Kwest has been there when I needed a friend. He was there when I needed to talk. And he actually understands me and my point on things. He's back to being the mixer..that's not so bad, right? But I did get a huge lecture from him. Can you guess what it was about? I'll give you a hint..It's one word. Starts with a T and ends with a Y..Ha! You guessed it! Tommy.

"Kwest..I'm not a kid anymore, okay? I can handle it." I say, trying to convince him.

"Oh yeah..like you handled it when he came back in the first place." He bites. Jeez..easy.

"That was different. Everyone deserves a fair chance..and..I'm giving him his." I shrug. Kwest shakes his head.

"Jude..you can't keep doing this to yourself. Everytime you fall you fall deeper. One of these times you are going to fall too deep and who knows whats going to happen?" He says. Uh..what does he mean by that?

I sigh.

"I'll be okay, alright?" I say, smiling assuringly. Once again he shakes his head and is about to say something until the door opens and Tommy walks in.

"Hey guys...sorry I'm late." He says, closing the door behind him.

"Destany keep you away?" I taunt. He glares at me and then takes his seat beside Kwest who went silent when Tommy walked in. Not a good sign.

"So.." Tommy finally sats after a few minutes of disturbing silence.

"So.." I mimick.

"Got any new songs?" Tommy asks.

"Hideaway..that's it." I say, biting my lip.

"Oh. Well, is it done?" He asks.'

"Yeah."

"Have you recorded it yet?" He continues. God..a year away and he comes back and acts like he never left. I'm trying to decide whether or not thats a good or bad thing.

"No..we thought we'd wait for you." I say.

"Well, lets record the acoustic first." He says, handing me my guitar.

"Okay..I'm going to warm up." I say, strumming the chords needed in the song. He nods and jumps slightly before reaching his hand into his pant pocket.

"Yeah?" He answered.

"No...I don't care, I don't bowl...Well tell her to take up another hobby..fine put her on...babe, come on out of all the things to do in this town you have to choose bowling?..fine." He slammed the phone shut and took a deep breath before looking up and focing a fake and sarcastic smile.

"What was that about, T?" Kwest asked, very much amused.

"Destany wants to go bowling." Tommy says. I'm trying to keep myself from bursting out laughing at the expression on his face. It's priceless.

"Not much of a bowler, Quincy?" I ask, smirking. He winces and narrows his eyes.

"Just haven't been in a while." He says. Clearly a lie.

"Whatever you say twinkle toes." I say, finally letting a chuckle escape. Once again he narrows his eyes and sits there in bewilderment. Kwest is trying not to crack up.

"What do you mean 'Twinkle toes'?" Tommy asks. Oh my god..you can't be serious.

"Haven't you ever seen the Flinstones?" I ask, shocked. He raises an eyebrow at me like I'm crazy.

"Tommy are you serious?" I ask, shocked.

He rolls his eyes out of frustration and points to the sound booth.

"Just go record." He says. I smile and start to get up but then my phone rings. I look at the number and I've never seen it before.

"Hello?" I ask.

A familiar voice comes through the phone and I immediately smile.

"Oh..hey Jason." I say. I watch Tommy fidget in his chair and I could tell he didn't like me talking to his brother..all the more reason to do it.

"Bowling? sure..That sounds fun." I say..clearly trying to irritate Mr. Quincy.

"Alright..I'll see you then." I say, hanging up the phone.

"Guess we're all going bowling..You _are_ coming, right Kwest?" I cheerfully ask.

"Wouldn't miss it." He says, smiling.

I walk into the soundbooth and I watch Tommy's annoyed expression through the glass as I'm singing the song. I'm loving every minute of it. The only reason he doesn't want me to go is because his brother is going.

After I finish I call Sadie and tell her about tonight and she is immediately all for it.

"See you guys later." I say, waving bye to Tommy and Kwest.

"Later." Kwest says.

**-Later that night- No one's Pov -**

The gang all walked into the bowling aly. Destany was clinging to Tommy, Kwest was close to Sadie and Jason stood by Jude.

"Sadie, can I talk to you for a second?" Jude says, pulling Sadie to the side.

"What? What is it?" Sadie asks, clearly irritated.

"Um..I'm going to look like an idiot. I've never bowled before." Jude says, lightly. Sadie rolls her eyes and tils her head to the side.

"If you're so worried about it then why'd you come?" Sadie asks.

"I don't know. It sounded fun." Jude says.

"Well-"

"Hey come on you guys, we need your shoe sizes." Kwest shouts. Jude bites her lip and follows Sadie back to the group. After everyone collected their shoes and paid, which it was only thirty dollars because of the deal on monday nights, they walked over to their bowling lane.

Tommy seemed grumpy the whole time as everyone put on their shoes. He didn't have the nicest expression on his face and he looked like he was about to pull his shoelaces out and strangle someone with them..especially after Jason walked over and sat next to Jude.

"Hey." Jason said. It was the first thing he had said to her since they got there.

"Hey." Jude replys, smiling widely.

"You want to help me put the names in the machine?" He asks. Jude smiled.

"I don't think it takes two people to punch in some letters." Tommy interrupted. Jude looked at him with disbelief and then looked back at Jason.

"Sure." She says.

Tommy nearly burnt a hole through his brother's skull right then. Destany finished tying her shoes and put her arm around Tommy's neck.

"Loosen up, baby." She said, kissing his cheek. He smiled fakely at her and let a huge breath out.

--

"You want to go first?" Jason asked, pushing the start button. Jude bit her lip and started to laugh nervously.

"Well you see..I kind of don't know what I'm doing?" She said, smiling innocently. Jason smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"So that's a yes." He said, pushing in the letters to her name. She stood there silently trying to figure out what he meant by that. After everyone's names were in there the game officially started.

Jude went to pick up a sixteen ball but Jason came up behind her and guided her hand towards the ten.

"You might want to try that one." He whispered against her ear which sent chills up and down her spine.

"Okay." She says, smiling and picking up the ball.

"Now..you see..this is what you do." Jason said, pulling his body against hers. His chest rested gently on her back and his hand rested on hers. Jude closed her eyes trying to push away the feelings she was having. He slowly pushed against her which caused her to walk forward and when they reached the line he bent forward. which caused her to do the same.

"Don't be so tense." He said when he had her in the postion needed. She took a deep breath and nodded.

He pulled her arm back straight and told her to go ahead. She did as instructed and waited impatiently as the ball strolled down the middle of the lane.

"Oh my god." Jude said, covering her mouth with her hands and watching as the ball knocked over each and every pin.

"Oh my god!" Jude squealed, turning around and embracing Jason tightly.

"Good job, girl." Jason said softly against her hair.

--

Tommy watched and kept clenching and unclenching his fist as his brother made his moves on _his_ girl.

"I'll be right back..I'm going to go find the ladies room." Destany said before kissing Tommy's cheek and heading off into the crowd of teenagers that were hanging out for the night.

Kwest took the time to taunt Tommy a little.

"They look pretty snug, T." Kwest said, indicating Jude and Jason. Tommy finally looked away from Jude and his brother and glanced at Kwest.

"No big deal." Tommy lied.

Around this time Jude and Jason finally stopped hugging and were on their way back up to the table.

"Did you see that? I got a strike!" Jude squealed. Jason smiled at Tommy and watched Tommy form a fake smile.

"Yeah, you did great." Tommy spoke lightly.

"It's your turn.. _twinkle_ toes." Kwest smirked, looking up at the score board. Tommy winced at the name and narrowed his eyes before getting up and grabbing a ball. He took a deep breath before letting it go and it rolled down the middle as well, knocking down all the pins.

"Wow..Tommy, you did great. Why don't you like bowling?" Jude asked as Tommy walked back up to the table.

"Long story." He said, before sitting down and watching Kwest go down to take his own turn.

This was going to be a long night..Well, Tommy thought so anyway.

**A/N - Eh? What did yall think?**


	14. Chapter 13 I'm eighteen

**A/N - Hey you guys..thanks so much for the reviews and I am feeling MUCH better :)..Ugh I'm sorry I didn't update sooner but..I've kinda been busy and this chapter is pretty short. I'll try to make the next one extra long to make up for it, that work:) Hope you like this one anyway..Love you guys!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 13 - I'm eighteen**

**Jude's Pov -**

We are about halfway through the first game now and Tommy is in the lead, followed by Jason and then Barbie and Kwest. Then there was Sadie and I'm last..typical, huh? It's weird though. It's like Tommy and Jason are in a competition. When you think about it...is the competition really involving bowling? I think it's deeper than that.

"Hun, It's your turn." Barbie says, walking behind Tommy and gluiding her hand across his back. I swear..it's enough to make a girl sick. The girl being me and the sickening being Bimbo Barbie and Quincy.

Tommy smiled lightly at her and then went to grab his ball. After making his sixth strike for the night..in a row..he smirked and motioned for Jason to go. Jason gladly took his arm from around my shoulder and walked swiftly to the aisle. And yes, I did say he took his arm from my shoulder. Not too long ago he put his arm there when Tommy was getting pretty close with Barbie. Some competition..I feel like I'm being used. Then again..if it's making Quincy jealous..I'm all for it. Let him have a little bit of his own medicine. Jason also made a strike. Still, Tommy was in the lead.

"Destany." Jason said with sly smile, coming back up and sitting next to me. God..this chick made me and Sadie look horrible. I mean seriously, she is following Tommy and Jason. She is an incredible bowler...even better than Kwest, and he's not doing half bad.

Destany nodded and smirked towards me and Sadie, before getting up and heading toward the lane. I don't think Sadie likes her either..

And another strike for psycho Barbie. Ugh..I really don't like her.

"I'm gonna go get a drink, you want anything?" I ask Sadie.

"Water." She sighs, also annoyed by this chick's all too preppy attitude. Sadie don't even like the girl..and she is usually good friends with the preps.

"Alrighty." I say, getting up and walking over to the consession section.

As I walk over there I spot a young...well a boy around my age behind the counter. He had dirty blonde hair and I could see his blue eyes shining in the light. Wow.

"Hi." He says, leaning against the counter and smiling sincerely at me. Wow..I didn't know guys could do that anymore. Seriously, when you think about it..guys play mind games. They lie. You never know when they are being sincere or not. If it's even possible for them to be sincere..but..I think this guy just proved me wrong. His sincerity is glowing through his pleasant, childish grin.

"Hi." I answer, smiling shyly. He smiles even wider at me.

"What can I get you?" He suddenly asks. I think thats what he said..I really couldn't hear..I'm kind of lost in his pretty blue eyes. They're not as nice as Tommy's but..they are still breathtaking.

"Jude?" He suddenly asks. He knows who I am?

"Do I know you from somewhere?" I ask, feeling totally mean. I mean, If I do know him..and I forgot his name..that would be horrible.

He starts to chuckle..I'm guessing hes laughing at the discomfort written all over my face.

"No, no..I um, I've heard your music and well..you're always on T.V and well..yeah." He trailed. Haha..right..I am kind of famous, aren't I? Now I feel stupid.

"Oh, right." I say, smiling.

"Sorry..I didn't catch your name?" I ask, slowly.

"Oh, I'm Rick." He says.

"Rick..thats nice." I say, smiling.

We stay there smiling at each other for a few minutes before I suddenly feel a bit of pressure on my shoulders and I feel someone's body heat next to me. I turn to see the infamous..

"Tom Quincy." He says, sticking his hand out for the boy to shake. And he does.. Quincy has his arm around me. Whats his deal? Now hes looking down at me.

"Whatcha getting?" He asks. Ugh..so much for getting away.

"I can order drinks on my own. I don't need supervision, thanks." I snap. He raises a brow at me before smirking at Rick.

"Six waters please." He says. Can you believe him?

"I got it Tommy." I say, almost pleading. Pathetic, huh? To plead..especially with him.

"No, I insist." He says, still smirking. Well, I'm guessing Rick assumed we were together because he was frowning when he walked over to fulfill our order.

I snatch Tommy's arm away and send daggers at him.

"What is your problem?" I hiss.

"My problem? What is your problem?" He retorts. What?

"You don't even know this guy. I come over and it looks like you two are about to jump behind the counter." He continues. Excuse me?

"Tommy, The last time I checked I _was_ allowed to talk to whoever I wanted. I'm eighteen anyway..I don't need a chaperone. Besides, shouldn't you be worrying about little miss perfect over there?" I say, pointing to Barbie.

Tommy looked in her direction before shaking his head silently and returning his gaze to me. At this point we were both out of breath from basically screaming at each other.

"Heres your drinks." Rick says sadly and it brings the two of us out of our trance.

"I got it.." I mumble, fumbling with my wallet.

"No. I said I got it." He said, finality in his voice.

After paying Tommy and I walked back to the table silently. What was there to say?

We set all the drinks down on the table and everyone who wasn't in our earlier conversation had smiles painted on their faces.

"Jude where have you been? I had to go for you." Jason said, gesturing for me to sit next to him.

"Actually I don't really feel up to bowling right now. I think I'm going to go." I say, staring directly at Tommy. He lowers his head and Barbie tightens her grip on his arm.

"Thats too bad. I was having fun watching you lose." She says, smirking. Oh okay, thats how she wants to play? let the games begin.

"Actually I was wondering..if Tommy would mind driving me home." I say, smiling sweetly at Tommy. Oh yeah..that should throw him off. He looks up at me utterly confused and I continue to smile.

"Um. No. Tommy..she has her own car." Barbie says, holding Tommy even tighter. Can you believe her?

"No, actually..I rode with Sadie. She has to drive back..besides..I don't want to ruin her fun." I say, still smiling. I think Sadie is catching on because shes smiling as well. Oh look at that..so is Kwest! But then again..Jason doesn't look too happy.

Tommy is staring at me and not saying anything. You have to hate it when he does that. You always want to know what the hell he is thinking because he is so freakin unpredictable.

"Yeah..I'll drive you." He murmurs, before getting up and grabbing his jacket. I smile and take his arm.

"Thanks Tommy..you're the greatest." I say loudly and I look back only once to see Barbie glaring at me. Oh yeah..let the games begin.

**No one's Pov -**

Destany watched Jude walk away, snuggled into Tommy.

"Why the hell didn't you drive her?" She asked Jason. He was clearly already mad but he shrugged.

"Got my liscence taken away a few years ago.." He says softly.

Sadie and Kwest both smile at eachother as if they know exactly what was going on.

"So Kwest..you want to teach me how to make the ball spin?" Sadie says.

"Haha..sure." He says, holding out his hand. Sadie took it and they walked over to the lane together.

**Jude's Pov -**

So we just stepped out of the bowling aly and I let go of Quincy and keep my distance.

"Nice show back there." He finally says, getting into his side of the car. I smile.

"I thought so." I say, also getting in.

He puts the key in the ignition and then we drive off. This was going to be an interesting drive..not really..not for me anyway. Whi knows what Quincy'll say? I for one..don't want to hear it.

**A/N - Yeah yeah I know it's short. But..was it okay? It was REALLY hard to write for some reason..I guess I've got a small case of writer's block. Eh, please review:)**


	15. Chapter 14 Do you love her?

**A/N - Well..I worked on this after I posted the last chappy. I don't think it's that long..but I did get it out quick! hehe. Thanks you guys for all the reviews! They seriously keep me going on with this and I love each and everyone of yall:)..Now..this chapter isn't "funny" but it's got a few confessions..heh..hope you like it? Please continue reviewing?**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 14 - Do you love her?**

**Jude's Pov -**

So like..I'm sitting here next to Tommy trying my hardest to keep my eyes on the road. He keeps looking at me though..I can see him from the corner of my eye. I seriously don't understand him. He comes back with a fiance..meaning he wanted to make a commitment finally..to Barbie. Well thats fine and jolly..I've accpeted that..kind of. Well anyway, _he'_s the one who left me. _He_ hurt me. _He_ found someone else. Yet, _He'_s the one not moving on.

"Quincy don't tell me you forgot where I live. You just missed my street." I say. He's only been gone a year and he already forgot where I live?

"I didn't forget." He says, this time keeping his eyes on the road.

I don't say anything.

God..why does everything have to be so complicated? I hate life. I hate him. I hate me. I hate love. No..Jude..don't do this to yourself. Love is nothing. There is no such thing as love..it's a mind game. It's an overused, manipulative sack of bull. I know it is. But why do I still feel for the person who hurt me. Who _still_ hurts me. You know..have you ever heard that quote..'Who do you turn to when the only person who can stop your crying is the one who made you cry?'..that person has a point. Who do you turn to?

Well anyway..I recognize this place. It's kind of secluded. And it's dark..oh my god.

Tommy parks the car and gets out as I sit here trying not to gape. Finally I pull myself together and get out.

"Oh my god." I say, closing the car door. Tommy doesn't say anything, he just sits down.

"I haven't been here since.."

"Me either." Tommy says, motioning for me to sit next to him. And I do. He makes it so freaking hard to be mad at him.

We share a comfortable silence for a few minutes. I'm sitting here staring out at the stars and the moon illuminating the water. Yes, we are at the peir.

"I wish I could turn back time sometimes.." I say out of nowhere. Where did that come from you might ask? I have no idea. I just couldn't stop myself.

Tommy looks over at me and tilts his head. Okay so he wants me to explain..I'm not sure if I can.

"I've just made alot of mistakes." I say, looking down at the water. He nods for a few seconds, before turning his head to the water and sighing.

"I know what you mean." He agrees.

"Sometimes I wish I never won the contest." I say.

Tommy snaps his head back at me.

"I didn't deserve it.." I say softly.

"Don't you _ever_ say that Jude." He says, grabbing my hand.

"No one deserves it more than you." He continued. I shake my head and pull my hand back. If only he knew..

"Tommy look at me. I'm eighteen years old and most people hate me. They think i'm fake..or that i'm still that redheaded depressed girl trying to make it with her guitar. And you know whats sad? I _am _that girl. I'll always be that girl..the girl who should've never made it." I say, picking up some sort of rock that was on the dock and throwing it out into the water.

"Since when do you care what people think?" Tommy asks.

I shrug.

"And besides, that _girl_ made it. That _girl_ had enough talent to get where she is today. That _girl_ posseses more creativity than any other artist her producer has ever worked with. There is nothing wrong with being _that_ girl." Tommy says, looking at me. His eyes were shining in the moonlight and I couldn't help but smile. And then I look away because I could feel the tears developing. I quickly sniff them away.

"Do you love her Tommy?" I ask, fiddling with my hands. He doesn't say anything so I look up. I'm so scared of what his answer will be. Though I am having a hard time believing in love..Tommy is not one to be in love. I don't think he has ever loved anyone besides Portia..if he loved Portia. He doesn't say anything.

"What did you mean you made mistakes?" He finally asks, totally ignoring my question. I suddenly feel my throat close up and my heart starts to beat faster. I really don't want to tell him..I haven't told anyone..

"Um." I clear my throat and then space out.

"Jude?" He asks. Taking my hand in his again.

"You can tell me girl." He cooes. I close my eyes to sheild my tears. And now I'm shaking..wonderful.

"Um.." I say, this time more shakily.

"Last year..when you um..left." I start, opening my eyes. He's staring directly at me and I take a deep breath.

"I couldn't face everyone at my release party..I kind of..left also." I say. He quirks a brow at me and I sigh.

"I went to Mason's concert..and I made a mistake. A huge mistake."

Tommy's face dropped and horror pierced through his eyes.

"Jude..what did you do?" He asks. I was hoping he wouldn't ask. That he'd just leave it at I made a mistake..but of course not.

"I got drunk..and I kind of..met someone there." I say, looking down at the water, afraid to meet his eyes.

"What do you mean you met someone there?" He asks, anger bubbling through his harsh words. No, they weren't harsh..but they sounded harsh.

"I don't even remember Tommy. All I know is that I got drunk and we went up to my room together..after that..I blacked out. I don't know what happened." I say, still holding back tears that longed to pour.

He sighs and I could see him shaking his head..that's not good.

"I'm sorry, Jude." He finally says, bringing his hands to his face and wiping it. It's like he's trying to wipe away all the bad memories..if only things were that simple.

"I had to leave." He said. Didn't I tell him I didn't want to hear his reasons?

"Tommy-" I try to stop him but he hushed me with his hand.

"I had to leave..my sister's boyfriend was beating her and my neice..when my mother found out..she sent Joe down here to get me. I had to leave, Jude..I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't want to leave with a promise that I couldn't keep. I wasn't sure If I'd be back..I didn't want to lie and say I would. I thought if I just left with an easy goodbye it would make things easier on you." He said.

Oh my god..I feel awful.

"Tommy..I am so sorry." I say, looking up at him. He smiles slightly at me and shakes his head.

"He had it coming..my sister and neice are fine." He says.

"That's good." I say. And now I don't know what to say..He had a good reason for leaving..I just hate how he said goodbye.

"Do you love her?" I try again..he smiles at me and then gets up, holding his hand out for me to take. I take it and he helps me up.

"I should get you home." He says, pulling me towards the car. He's never going to tell me..

We get into the car and we take one more look out at the scenery before he slowly drives off.

The drive was short and silent. For once..I didn't want it to end. I felt like the fifteen year old girl who had a crush on her producer all over again. I felt safe. I felt at home.

But..it did end.

We are now sitting in front of my empty house. Didn't you know? My mom decided to take the house off the market and leave it for me and Sadie..Because of course..Moms always with Don..Sadie is usually always gone too so I'm most of the time here alone.

I look over at Tommy who turned off the car and is looking up at my house.

"Your mom's not here?" He asks. I bite my lip.

"Barely ever." I sigh. He nods.

"You going to be okay alone?" He asks. I smile.

"I'll be fine..Sadie'll be home later." I say, shrugging. He nods again.

Then there was more silence. I hate silence.

"Jude.." I hear. I know that voice. I don't like that voice. I look over again.

"We're cool Quincy." I say. He looks at me all concerned and I smile in defiance.

"Just stay out of my love life." I joke. And now he turns his head back to the house and his face shows complete discomfort. Here we go again.

"Be careful..thats all I'm asking." He says. I smile.

"I will." I say before kissing his cheek and stepping out of the car. I give him one last wave before I enter the house and he drives off. My love life? What love life? Jason? Is that what he meant?...He really doesn't want me to be with Jason. Well you know what? I _really_ don't want him to be with Barbie.

**A/N - What did you guys think:)**


	16. Chapter 15 He wouldn't hurt me, right?

**A/N - Hey you guys! I can't thank you enough for all the reviews and I am SO SO SO SORRY I haven't updated sooner. I've been soooo busy and I think I'm still sick. :(..I should have the next chappy out before too long, though. I hope this chapter was worth the wait..sorry again you guys!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 15 - He wouldn't hurt me, right?**

**No one's Pov -**

Tommy drove back to the bowling aly contemplating everything that had just happened. He should've just taken her home. It would have left things like they needed to be left..but then again, if he had, he would have never found out about her getting drunk when she left. And they would have never made peace. Maybe it was a good thing.

He got out of his car and closed the door behind him, before walking up to the aly. Once inside he immediately spotted his earlier group, Kwest and Sadie still playing the game and Jason and Destany sitting at the table. He took a deep breath before walking up to them and sitting across from Jason and next to Destany.

"Jesus Tom, does she live in the states or something?" Destany asked. Tommy looked away while shaking his head.

"Where the hell were you?" Destany continued, pulling his face to face her own.

"We needed to talk." Tommy said. Destany glared.

"Talk? You've been gone for an hour..I don't know if I can deal with this Tommy. I really don't. I'm supposed to be your fiance..and ever since we've come to this crappy town you've been chasing her..don't say you haven't! I'm not blind!" Destany said, getting up and spinning the spinny chair in anger. Tommy brought his hand to his forehead.

"Destany, not now okay?" He said.

"Of course..not now. Not later. Not ever." She said, grabbing his keys quickly out of his pocket and then heading towards the exit.

"Come on!" Tommy screamed, really tempted to knock the table in half at the moment.

"Get a ride home with your precious friends." She said without even looking back.

Tommy glared towards the door for a few minutes before looking back at his brother with equal annoyance.

"Don't you _even_ look at me like that." Tommy warned. Jason shook his head while giving his older brother a long cold stare.

"That why you wanted me to stay away from her? Huh? I should've known. You're an idiot." Jason finished, still shaking his head.

Tommy narrowed his eyes.

"I wanted you to stay away from her because you are a punk. She doesn't need another mistake. And you are nothing but a mistake." Tommy spit out. Jason also narrowed his eyes.

"Well _'Quincy'_ I'd say you are her biggest mistake. I think she'd agree with me." Jason said, quite confidently.

Tommy shook his head.

"You don't know what you're talking about." He says.

"Oh don't I?" Jason continues.

"Look. I'm not discussing this with you." Tommy bites.

"If not me..you better with your soon to be wife. And I don't care how many fantasies you have about our little Instant Star..in the end..she will be mine." Jason said, getting up and flipping his shades over his eyes. Tommy watched the smirk form across his little brother's lips and then he watched him walk away. The smirk was the only thing that he could think about..that and Jude..as always.

**Jude's Pov -**

So now I'm here..laying in my bed. Empty house. Total and complete discomfort. I miss him...as much as I hate to admit. I miss him. I miss spending most of my time with him. I miss everything about him. And I can't sleep. Haha..another one of those nights. Whats new?

He's so frustrating. He can be the most sensable person I know..and then again..be the most careless person. It's the same with me..I think sensable..until I'm with him. My mind gets taken over by an unwanted and unknown force that some how persuades me to fall into his trance. His mind. His heart..

"Ugh." I pull the pillow from over my head and grab my notebook that was resting peacefully on my nightstand. Yes, It was resting peacefully. Haha.

_You tell me I'm strong when I know I'm weak_

_I'm not blind, I'll admit defeat_

_You whispered promises.._

_Their echos are trapped in my mind_

_The sorrow mixed somewhere inbetween_

_Thinking about you_

_The one I thought would never betray me, unlike everyone else_

_But you lead me to believe a lie..again_

_And now here I sit_

_My heart and soul frozen_

_Looking through your eyes_

_Was like looking through glass_

_Nothing, you were heartless _

_No feelings for anyone but yourself_

_I still can't see how this happened_

_You've drifted into the unfortunate grasp of age_

_And we can't turn back_

I stopped writing and read over the words. I'm not sure how I came up with that..It kind of just poured out of me. You know how that goes? When you just start writing and when you're done and you look..it's like..wow. Thats how I feel now.

I close my notebook and put it back where it was. As I start to pull the covers back over me I hear a faint knock on the door. Who could it be this late? It was nearly twelve..Sadie had a house key.

I get up and walk slowly and cautiously out of my room and down the hallway before clinging to the railing of my stairs. I feel like a little kid..I'm eighteen and I'm scared to answer the door. I'm pathetic.

Finally, after reaching the bottom I walk over and open it, just enough to peek out with one eye. Oh boy..

"Hey." I say, forcing a weary smile.

"Hey." He says, pushing the door open a little.

"How did you know..?" I trail off and he answers.

"Tom..I uh, saw him staring at the house when we first got here. I figured.." He shrugged. I nod and cross my arms over my chest. I'm in pajama pants and a shirt that shows my stomach. My hairs probably all messed up too..ugh..and he keeps staring.

"What are you doing here?" I finally ask, leaning against the door frame.

"Well, I was hoping we could talk." He says. Talk? Um..does he not know what time it is?

"I don't know..it's kind of late. Sadie should be home soon..did you walk here?" I say, looking out a little further to see if I could spot a car. Nope, no car.

"Yeah..it wasn't that far." He shrugged, pushing his way inside of the house. This couldn't be good..

I bite my lip before settling my eyes on the floor and shutting the door. I'm kind of scared to turn around..I could have sworn I smelt alcohol on his breath. It's Tommy's brother though..he wouldn't hurt me..right?

**A/N - So what did y'all think? One more thing..next week I am going to Georgia for about a week so I won't be updating all that week :(. I will take a notebook with me though and write as much as I can. Please review you guys?**


	17. Chapter 16 She's not the one he loves

**A/N - Hey you guys..once again I am sorry for the long wait. Well first of all..I went to the doctor today to see what was wrong with me..Heh..I'm allergic to something in my house :(. I have no idea what I'm allergic to though..so that sucks. Anyway..this chapter is pretty short and it MIGHT be my last one before I go to Georgia..I will try to have another one out before then but if not then I wont be able to update again until like..next weekend :( sorry you guys. Send me some reviews though, alright? You know how much I love reading each and every one of them. Okay okay I'm done rambling..Love you guys! keep reviewing!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 16 - She's not the one he loves**

**Jude's Pov - He doesn't love her**

I bite my lip before settling my eyes on the floor and shutting the door. I'm kind of scared to turn around..I could have sworn I smelt alcohol on his breath. It's Tommy's brother though..he wouldn't hurt me..right?

I finally turn around and find him staring at me. His eyes are glazed over and he's smiling at me.

"Jason.." I start before walking toward him a little. I stop before getting too close because as I said before, I'm a little scared of what possibilities there are.

"Shh, come sit down with me." Jason says, holding out his hand. I stare at his hand, mouth a-gape. I can't believe I didn't notice this before.

"Oh my god..what happened?" I stutter. His hand is shaking and he stares down at it for a minute before pulling it back to his lap.

"Nothing." He says, barely above a whisper.

"Jason, Seriously, what happened?" I ask, now retreating to the kitchen to grab a towel or something. His hand was cut and some blood had made it's way down his arm and into the sleeve of his shirt.

I finally found a towel and held it under running cold water and then I heard something behind me so I accidently drop the towel and fall into the body behind me. He places his hands on my shoulders and rubs his warm palms against the soft of my neck. I can't help but close my eyes and allow him to continue.

"Jason." I manage to whisper as his mouth finds it's way to my neck and I can feel him trail kisses up and down it. Oh..so not good.

"Jason, please." That wasn't supposed to come out like that. It sounded like I was asking him to continue..I was actually trying to ask him to stop..I think. He didn't take it that way though.

His hands slowly slide down my arms and reach my hands and I can feel the blood against my thumb which brings me back to reality.

"Jason, Jason..your hand." I make an attempt to turn around but he tightens his grip on my hands and kisses me harder.

"What are you doing?" I ask breathlessly as he turns me around to face him.

"Shh." He cooes as he captures my lips in his. I don't know whether to struggle or not..I mean, It feels right. Is it wrong to say that? ..Yes, it is wrong. I need to get a grip on things. I pull away from him and lower my head so he has no access to my lips.

"Jason. We need to stop. I have to bandage your hand." I say quietly.

"My hand's fine. I want to be with you." He says, letting one of my hands go to bring his own to my chin and force my face up.

With my free hand I push against his chest and manage to back away from him.

"Your drunk..just leave and I won't ever bring this up, okay? It never happened." Oh boy those words strangled my tongue as they oozed out of my mouth. I hated those three words so badly.

"But I want it to happen." He objects, stepping closer to me.

"I may not be my brother, but I assure you..I can be just as good, if not better." He says. What the hell was that suppose to mean?

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, backing up some more and hitting the counter.

"You know..in bed. Don't tell me you never slept with him pop star. I see how you two look at each other." He says, eyes still glazed with emotion. Can you believe this?

"Look, I don't know what you think you see but it's not true. None of it." I say, eyes starting to cloud with unshed tears.

He laughs.

"Right." He says, bringing a finger to my cheek and actually catching a stray tear.

"Just go Jason..your making this harder on yourself." I say, voice quivering.

He smiles down at me and starts to lean in for another kiss when..

"You heard her." A voice came from behind him.

He dropped hold of me and turned around to face Sadie.

"You need to leave." She clarified.

This time he didn't object, he just shook his head angrily and walked out of the kitchen leaving me and Sadie.

"Thanks.." I say, now turning off the running water that I managed to forget about earlier. Hey..if you were in a room with Tommy or his brother you'd forget about anything and everything too.

"What did he want? Was he drunk?" Sadie asked. Iean against the sink and nod.

"Then why'd you let him in?" She asks.

"I didn't exactly _let_ him in..he kind of made his way in." I say.

Sadie sighs and walks up to me.

"You okay?" She asks. I nod slowly before smiling assuringly at her.

Then theres a small silence before she decides to speak again.

"You shoud've seen Destany's face." Sadie said, her voice squeaking with ammusement.

"She's just so.." I start, now twisting the towel I had earlier.

"Frustrating?" Sadie offers. I shake my head.

"That's an understatement." I say on a laugh.

"I don't see what Tommy sees in her. I mean yeah..shes pretty and all but.." I start but Sadie interrupts me.

"There you go Jude. She's pretty and he's a guy.." She shrugs, "That's all there is to it." She finishes.

"Right.." I say, trailing off and staring at the counter before me.

"He doesn't love her." Sadie calls out as she starts to walk out of the kitchen.

I fluster my brows and watch her turn the corner.

"What do you mean?" I ask, walking out of the kitchen and following her down the hall.

She turns around smiling and winks at me.

"She's not the one he loves.." Sadie says in a sing song voice before walking into her room and closing the door behind her. How the hell can she leave me hanging like that? Thats just mean..but I am tired and a little freaked out right now so..I shall have a little talk with her tomorrow. As for right now..I am going to sleep.

**A/N - So? Alright well like I said- Leave me some feedback:) Love y'all!**


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N - Hey you guys! I'm baaaaaack lol..I didn't get to write as much as I'd like to have, but I did write some..and well..yeah. God..Georgia is HOT..and I live in Florida..I thought it was hot here, but boy was I mistaken. Anyway I will stop babbling now so yall can read already. OH but one more thing - I'm going to my grandmas for a few days to do some work for her..to help out..so I might have another update before I go over there but after that it might be a few days before I can again. Sorry. Well..review you guys:)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star**

**Chapter 17 - From every tear I'd shed..to every word you spoke**

**Jude's Pov -**

_Buzz Buzz Buzz_

I roll over and hit the snooze button on the alarm clock for the third time in the past half hour.

"Jude come on we have to go!" Sadie's voice pierced through the shallow hallway as she stomps towards my room.

"We have a meeting at eight Jude! We can't miss it!" Sadie warned before pounding her fist against the door.

I groan and pull my blanket over my head. I barely got any sleep last night because of all the comotion with Jason.

"You have two minutes or else I'm leaving without you." Sadie once again warned before heading downstairs.

Does she really think I care? So what..I miss _one_ staff meeting. I'm sure the meeting will go on without me.

And then I hear the door close. Yes, freedom! Besides, I don't want to face Tommy today..what if Jason is there? I mean, I don't mind Tommy but Jason is another story.

-One hour later-

_Buzz Buzz Buzz_

So I finally get up and tap the snooze button lightly..okay okay I threw the stupid thing against the wall..it was getting annoying. I have Sadie's screeching voice in the morning. I don't need an alarm clock too.

After taking a quick shower and grabbing my notebook and guitar, I stuff everything in the car and drive slowly to G-major. I know Darius is going to have a fit..it's my own fault for not getting up when Sadie told me to but still.

When I pull in the parking lot I only see two cars parked..one being Tommy's. He didn't go to the meeting? And better yet- The meeting wasn't over yet?

I take a deep breath before grabbing my stuff and walking slowly into the lobby.

As soon as I approached studio C I heard yelling. The door was open.

Neither of the two people in there seemed to notice me standing outside so..I decided to listen.

"Not today. This is my job, don't you get that?"

"Sure Tom..I get this is your _job_. I get that _she's_ your _artist_ but I _don't_ get that you have to spend all your spare time with her!"

"Spare time? I don't _have_ spare time. We _just _got here."

"And like I said last night- Ever since we got here you've been chasing her like some pervert. God Tommy she _just_ turned eighteen."

"She's my artist. We're close..we have to be close. I'm her producer. That doesn't mean I have feelings for her and it doesn't mean I'm chasing her."

Chasing who? Me?..

"Eaves dropping?" A husky voice came from behind me and caused me to jump.

"You're jumpy pop star." He chuckled. I glare and walk passed him.

"Hey..is something wrong?" He says, making his way in front of me and cocking his head to the side.

"You should know." I hiss.

"What are you talking about?" He asks.

"Last night. You..Me..you trying to get into my pants." I growl, pushing him aside and sitting on the lobby's couch where my guitar was.

His eyes softened and his mouth was a-gape.

"Jude..I'm so sorry. I didn't know..I didn't mean-"

"It's fine, just don't get drunk and come to me anymore. Why'd you get drunk anyway?" I ask, taking the guitar out of it's case.

He sits across from me and rests his elbows on his knees.

"I don't know.. Jude..answer something for me?" He asks. It sounded like he had to strain that out..like it was hard for him to say that. And wow..can you believe he's said my name a few times instead of pop star?

I raise my brow at him.

"Shoot." I say.

He nods and lowers his head before clearing his throat.

"Do you love him?" He asks. Woah..where did that come from? Who is he talking about?

"Love who?" I ask. Maybe I know who but..do you really think I want to answer that question?

"You know who." He says. Oh boy..

I look down at my shoes for a few minutes before letting out a breath.

"Jason..I-"

"Whatever Tommy if you want the kid..you can have the kid..I'll be at the hotel!" Destany screams, running out of the studio.

I hear a loud bang in studio C so once again I make my way over to it, Jason followed.

There Tommy was..knuckles swollen and a dent in one of the file cabnets.

"Tommy, are you okay?" I ask, quickly walking over to him and grabbing his hand. He winces as my fingers brush against his.

**No one's Pov -**

Jude ran her fingers over his now very large knuckles and kept her eyes on his. Jason immediately felt the tension in the room..between the one he wanted to be with and his brother. He himself felt out of place.

"I'll uh..get some ice." Jason said, shaking his head as he walked out.

Jude continued to run her fingers over his knuckles and it managed to put him in a daze. Her eyes..her soft touch. It was just all too much.

"Jude..we-"

"Shh. It's okay." Jude says, smiling lightly.

Tommy also gave a weak and unsure smile and then rolled his chair back a bit to get a little space between them.

Jude bit her lip and then looked towards the switchboard.

"So..why didn't you go to the meeting?" She asked.

"I just got back from Montana. D said there was no need for me to go." He said, shrugging.

"Oh." Jude says.

"Are you okay?" He asks, concern written all over his face. Jude looked towards him and nodded silently.

"You sure? you're not looking so hot." Tommy said.

Jude couldn't help but laugh at that comment. Tommy rolled his eyes.

"Thanks Tommy..you sure know how to make a girl feel special." Jude says sarcastically.

"Ha ha..but seriously, You sure you're okay?" He asked.

"Yes..I'm fine." Jude said, putting on a forced smile that Tommy didn't fall for. Yet he decided to leave it alone.

"I thought Jason was getting ice?" Jude asked.

"He's probably screwing around somewhere." Tommy said with a roll of his eyes.

"You have any new material?" He asked. Jude raised her eyebrow.

"Kind of..but what about your hand?" She asked. He shruged.

"It'll be fine..growing up I had much worse than this." He said. Jude shakes her head and goes out in the lobby to grab her guitar. As soon as she reaches the couch she sees Jason in the kitchen..just standing there.

"Jason?"

"Just go Jude.." Is all he said in return. His back was faced towards her and he didn't even turn around but anger was very evident in his voice.

Jude didn't say anything else, instead she just grabbed her guitar and walked back into the studio where Tommy was.

"What do you have?" He asked as I sat down and situated the guitar in my lap.

_"Don't hold me down_

_Just burn my name.._

_Don't keep me bound_

_You take everything in vain_

_I'm forced to love you_

_I'm forced to take everything back_

_You were destined to hurt me_

_And I keep falling,_

_Slipping through these cracks_

_But I'll never forget you_

_And I'll never tell a lie_

_For everything you put me through_

_I hang my head tonight_

_Conciousness means nothing_

_"Love" is some sick joke_

_From every tear I'd shed_

_To every word you spoke.._

_Tonight's about punishment_

_Tonight's about defeat_

_So here I lie broken, crying at your feet_

_You held everything in me_

_Though all that's happened.._

_All that's happened_

_We'll never be_

_'Cause.._

_For everything you put me through_

_I hang my head tonight_

_Conciousness means nothing_

_"Love" is some sick joke_

_From every tear I'd shed_

_To every word you spoke.._

_I'm forced to love you.._

_The hurt you can't take back_

_I'm..drawn to hate you_

_For everything..everything_

_For everything you put me through_

_I hang my head tonight_

_Conciousness means nothing_

_"Love" is some sick joke_

_From every tear I'd shed_

_To every word you spoke.._

_Tonight's about giving in_

_I was forced to love you.."_

Jude strummed the guitar lightly and finally looked up at Tommy who had complete hurt illuminating in his eyes.

"What did you think?" She asked, hopeful.

He nodded slowly.

"I liked it." He says.

"..but?" She asks, clearly catching on to the longing in his words.

"Was the song about me?" Tommy asked.

Jude looked down at her feet not knowing how to respond to that.

"Jude..I don't know how else to say it..I'm running out of apologies." Tommy says, leaning over and trying to meet her eyes again.

"I don't want apologies. I just..I wrote the song a while back." Jude shrugs. Yes, that was a lie..but still.

Tommy nodded.

"It's good." He says. I smile and nod.

"Tommy?" Jude finally asks.

"Yeah?"

"..do you love her?" She continues.

Tommy stares at her for a long time before finally giving in.

"No."

**A/N - Alright well..what did you guys think? Horrible? Worth the wait? Give me something :)**


	19. Chapter 18 A mistake

**A/N - Hey y'all..wow..17 reviews..thats a record for this story. Thanks so much you guys..it truly means everything to me. Alright well like I said..it's gonna be a while before I can get a new chappy out after this. Hope you like the chappy. Review:)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 18 - A mistake**

**Jude's Pov -**

"Tommy?" I finally ask, heart beating a thousand miles per minute.

"Yeah?"

"..do you love her?" I ask. Okay I know..I sound really repetative and annoying but I have to know. Is it really a big deal? I mean he's getting married to her for Christ's sake. He has to love her..right? Why didn't he just say yes from the beginning?

Tommy stares at me for a few minutes. His blue eyes quickly became hazy and hypnotizing.

"No." He finally says. What?

"No?" I ask, breathlessly.

He looks down at his hand and shakes his head.

"I thought I did..but..you can't pretend you love someone when your heart belongs to someone else." No way..is this seriously coming out of Quincy? The Tom Quincy?

"What do you mean?" I ask.

He gives me that look...you remember my seventeenth birthday? We were locked in that room together? Remember that look...THE look..yeah..he gives me THAT look.

"You know what I mean, Jude." He says. Oh my god.

"But..you guys are getting marri-"

"Jude." A deep, echoing voice interrupted.

"Hey..Darius." I say, turning around and smiling sweetly.

"My office. Now." Ugh..okay..this isn't going to be good.

-In Darius' office-

"Where were you?" Darius starts.

"I-"

"You are an artist Jude. You are a part of our staff. When I call a staff meeting that means every staff member is required to go."

"D-"

"Not almost everyone. Not everyone but you. Everyone needs to show up. No exceptions..so why is it that everyone but you could make it? It better have been a life threatening situation." He hissed.

I lower my head and bite my lip.

"That's exactly what I thought..Jesus." He continues, voice rising.

"D..I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it Jude. The meeting was held so we could discuss your upcoming album. Every artist' upcoming album. I need hits."

I look up at him, completely scared of what he might do. He is clearly mad.

"G-major needs the money and I can't tolerate slacking or slackers."

I nod sadly. I screwed up big time..I should have just got up when Sadie told me to.

Darius takes a long deep breath before stepping closer to me. He seems more calm. That could be a good thing..but then again..

"Alright..here's what I'm going to do. You listen and you do as I say, no buts."

Now that can't be good..

So he explains. I listen and nod. I don't dare protest..but I know someone will.

---

"What?"

"You heard me Tom."

"Darius..you know I would man, but I just don't have the time right now. I'm up to my ears in wedding planning and Destany is on my back all the time about spending too much time with Ju--my artists and I just can't handle this right now."

"You came back T. I'm sorry that this is a bad time for you but this is your job. This is your responisibility, and you shouldn't have come back if you weren't willing to take on these responsibilities."

Tommy shook his head.

"For how long?"

"As long as it takes. I want atleast three that I will gaurantee will be instant hits."

Tommy nodded. You could tell he was still angry..well..I could tell.

"Barbie isn't going to be happy about this." I say. Yes, I felt it was time to add my two cents in.

"This is business," Darius says with a shrug, "Besides, you didn't think I was sending you two alone..did you?" He continues with a coy smirk.

Oh boy..

I look over at Tommy and notice he has the same scared expression as me.

"Who did you have..in mind?" I ask lightly, afraid of the response I might get.

Darius looked over at the door behind us and nodded.

"Hey." The person says, walking in.

"You've got to be kidding me." Tommy says, well..more like groaned.

"Nope. This way Destany and I will be assured that this trip will be strictly business." Darius says.

I can tell Tommy is real upset, but I can't really blame him..

"D-"

"Look Tom-Just make sure the songs are top notch and you'll be back in no time. Chaperone and all." Darius says, still smiling.

I am really not going to like this.

"Oh and this shouldn't take longer than a week. I expect you two back by wednesday."

Darius says, getting up and walking toward the door of his office.

"You leave tomorrow morning." He continues, pushing us out before Tommy could protest again. And with that he shuts his door and I'm left outside with...if you haven't guessed..Jason and Tommy.

So we're all standing outside of the office now and Tommy is shooting death glares at Jason.

"Hey it's not like I asked to come. I'd rather stay here than go to some ranch anyway." Jason protested.

Tommy gives him a look and then looks over at me before returning his look to him.

"Right." Tommy says.

"Tommy just calm down..no one asked for this." I say, trying to calm him down a little.

"Alright. We already have one song done..right? We have two to go. No big deal. It shouldn't take a week..maybe a few days." He continues.

"Right..wouldn't want to keep you away from Destany too long." I say.

"Look, I know. I'm sorry, okay? but I do have alot of things going on right now." Tommy protests.

"Darius is right. Why did you come back? You're more worried about Destany than anything else." I say. I say.

"Shes my fiance. What part of that aren't you getting?"

"I get it, okay? But I didn't ask for it either. Hell, I was fine with Kwest being my producer."

"Hey you wanted me back." Tommy says. Oh god he sounds so..arrogant and big headed.

"Well maybe it was a mistake." I blurt out.

He stares at me for a minute before nodding silently.

I take a second to process what I had just said..and I deffinitely didn't mean for it to sound as harsh as it did.

"Pack your things. We leave tomorrow morning..after that I'll arrange something with Darius. You can work with Kwest again." Tommy says, walking away. Is it possible to actually feel someone elses pain? Because I could feel his as he said that..every word was dripping with sorrow. I so didn't mean for it to come out like that.

"Tommy.." I say, but it's too late. He'd walked away.

"Do you two always fight like that?" Jason asks.

"Ever since he got back." I say.

He nods. I give him one more look before giving a weak smile and walking away.

--

"I'm dead serious. I don't know how I'm going to do." I say into the phone.

"Well it's obvious Tommy doesn't want his brother there because he wants you for himself." Kat replied.

"What? Kat..no-"

"Jude come on..he told you he didn't love her. Isn't that a huge hint right there?"

"..they're getting married." I groan.

"I don't think they will..not the way he looks at you." Kat says.

"Besides..if it doesn't work out with Tommy there is always his brother." Kat continues.

"Yeah..right." I say, a light smile forming.

"Is that a smile I hear miss Jude Harrison?" Kat taunts.

"No..well I have to pack. I'll call you later." I say.

"Keep me posted." Kat says and I hang up the phone.

This is going to be a long trip..

**A/N - Whatcha think:) review please?**


	20. Chapter 19 Let the fun begin

**A/N - I know..I'm a horrible person. I've been so dang busy lately! and this chapter is like..completely short and I aplogize you guys! I don't think this chapter is that good either. To top it off...school started today. I am a sophmore and I HATE it. My teachers suck and yada yada yada..Not to mention it takes time away from me writing. But I have no intention of abandoning this story. There WILL be chapters out as soon as I can write them. Please bare with me? I am seriously trying. Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews, you guys rock! Please keep reviewing?**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 19 - Let the fun begin**

**Jude's Pov -**

I wake up with the sound of Sadie's screeching voice again. I suddenly miss the alarm clock..

When I finally decide to look at my watch it read seven..too early. But you guys know Tommy..early is on time and on time is late.

I get up and scramble around my room for some clothes. I have a few packed but I was too tired last night to get things ready for today. Or can I say..too agravated?

Well anyway once everything is set and I have everything packed I run downstairs with my bags. Then I hear a faint knock on the door and..It can't be Tommy. I know Tommy's knock. So I run to the door and answer it.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as the person makes his way inside, ignoring my protests.

"You didn't think I was going to let you go on this little adventure alone, did you?" He asks, setting his two bags beside mine.

"Mason, I don't think Tommy's going to like this." I say, noticing Tommy's car pulling up in the driveway.

"Oh please. Lover boy will be fine with it." Mason says smiling.

"Okay." I say in a sing song voice.

I grab a few of my bags and Mason grabs his and we're off to Tommy's car. I can already see him shaking his head. Heh, I knew he wasn't going to like this.

He gets out to pop the trunk and looks over at me like I'm crazy.

"What's he doing here?" He asks. I shrug.

"He wanted to come?"

"This isn't a vacation Jude." He says all serious. Jeez..he needs to lighten up.

"Isn't it though?" I ask. That was just to piss him off. It worked. Score!

He shuts up after that and piles our bags in the trunk before turning to his earlier seat.

As I walk up to the back door Jason gets out of the passengers seat and starts to walk to the other side near me.

"What are you doing?" Mason asks, about to sit next to me.

"I'm going to sit by Jude. You can ride shotgun." Jason says.

"Jude sit up here and they can sit in the back." Tommy says, receiving glares from Mason and Jason. So I take it they don't like eachother?

"Okay." I say quietly before getting out and taking the seat by Tommy. Oh yeah..this was going to be tons of fun!

--

"What did I say about touching the radio?" Tommy snaps, glaring at me. I pull my hand away slowly and then hold both of them up in defense.

"Sorry." I say.

"Aw come on Tom. We've been listening to oldies for an hour now." Mason says.

"Fine," Tommy says, punching the nob in, "No radio." He says, finality in his voice.

And then it was back to silence..well...almost.

"How far is this place anyway?" Jason asks for the fifth time in the last half hour.

"We'll be there when we get there." Tommy says, gritting his teeth.

"You've been saying that for the past hour or so."

"Then why are you still asking?"

"Becuase we're still not there."

I shake my head and pull out my notebook from my back. Might as well start on these songs..the sooner I get them written the sooner we all get back and out of this mess.

I notice Tommys eyes drifting from the road to my notebook from time to time and him even nod at times. I'm guessing he likes?

_'Staring down this lonely road that lyes ahead of me_

_Tired of living on the edge of my seat_

_Shattered dreams and hollow lies keep me going_

_I keep running from everything, everything that keeps me..burning.'_

Tommy looks over and this time we lock eyes..and for a moment..it feels like it's only us in the car. Like it's only us in the world..and we're lost. We've lost ourselves. Who knows if we can find our way back? And who knows if we'll ever be us again.

_'In fairytales and true love, I used to believe_

_Lets write the final chapter, We both know the ending_

_You're so lost in time..I can't see the way_

_Blinded by your misery..but what's left to say?'_

What is left to say? I said all that could be said. He knows my stance on this. I need..I don't know what I need. Besides, he's getting married still. Maybe it's for the best? Maybe he shouldn't have come back. Maybe..I'm better without him.

And with that thought I feel my eyes begin to water.

"Jude..you okay?" I hear from beside me. No, it's not Tommy..it's Mason.

"Yeah..I'm fine, why?" I ask, sniffing away the tears before they came. He gives me a look and then nods before sitting back into the seat.

"Just checking." He says. I smile and nod before re-reading my writing.

"We're here." Tommy says in a sarcastic tone as he pulls through the gate.

As we park I manage to let out a small sigh.

"Let the fun begin.." I say to myself before stepping out of the car and starting toward the trunk for my bags.

**A/N - So? I know..it's horrible. :(..Please review?..Oh and I know the song sucks..but I had to write it last minute.**


	21. Chapter 20 One down, two to go

**A/N - Hey you guys..I had another allergic reaction today so here I am..I got to write a little bit. Thanks so much for the reviews, they make me so happy you have no idea. You guys are the best and I hope you like the chappy..I don't think it's that great but..eh..(shrugs) please review and tell me what you think? Love you guys!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 20 - One down, two to go**

**Jude's Pov -**

So after we all grab our bags and head inside..the fun really starts.

"Oh I love it here." Mason started, looking around.

"It's too far away from the city." Jason said, shrugging and throwing his bags down on the couch.

Tommy stood near the door, staring out the window at the field and the horses that still remained in the stables.

"I use to live in the country, I actually grew up not too far from here." Mason said happily.

"Explains alot.." Jason muttered.

"It's especially gorgeous when the sun is about to set. You have clear view of the evening sky and it's..just..wow." Mason says, getting a dazed look on his face.

"Sorry to interrupt this oh so important conversation but..Jude and I have work to do so..we need to get our things put up so we can start." Tommy said coldly as he turned toward us.

"About that..we only have two rooms." I say..scared of what kind of problems that could cause.

"Two rooms?" Mason asks.

"Yeah..Sadie and I shared a room and my parents had their room when we came up here." I continue.

"That's fine. I'll bunk with Popstar and Mason and you can share a room." Jason says to Tommy. Tommy gives him a look.

"I could share a room with Jude." Mason says, shrugging.

"Oh you'd love that cowboy, wouldn't ya?" Jason says, giving Mason a back off look. Okay..I suddenly feel like a piece of property being fought over. And don't get me wrong..any other time I'd probably be flattered, but this is the Quincy boys and Mason..It just doesn't work.

"Jude can have a room to herself. I'll sleep on the couch and Mason and Jason can share a room." Tommy said. Well..he did that well.

"You want me to share a room with country boy?" Jason asked, looking at Tommy like he was crazy. Mason narrowed his eyes at Jason before shaking his head.

"It's fine. I'll sleep on the couch and you two can share the room." Poor Mason...he should've known what it was going to be like if he came.

Tommy nodded and continued towards the hallway with his bags.

"Which room?" He asked, once in front of a door.

"Just go in there..It's mine and Sadies old room." I say. I could swear I saw a slight smile form before he opened the door and walked in..this was going to be interesting.

Jason followed him inside and I continued to my parents old room. I kind of didn't want to go in there..I mean I don't mind that Tommy and Jason were in my old room, but my parents left a few family pictures and personal items in their room..I don't want to be reminded of the past. I don't want to be reminded of things when they were actually sane.

But..what can I do?

I go in and place my bags on one side of the bed and start to take out a few things that I know I'll need for today, which isn't that much.

As soon as I have everything I need unpacked I decide to finally set my attention to the rest of the room. I was right..photos, clothing, oh my god..theres a picture I drew a long time ago.

I walk over and grab it off of the dresser counter.

It's a picture of me, Sadie, My mom, and dad. Wow..I really sucked at drawing..well..I haven't really gotten any better to tell you the truth.

I sigh and lay the picture back where it was and turn toward the mirror hanging over another one of the dressers in the room. Antique..cracked..weird looking. Freaskish, actually.

"Jude?" I nearly jump out of my skin when hearing my name.

"Oh..yeah hey." It's Tommy. I swear that guy could sneak up on anything or anyone without them knowing it.

"Ready?" He asks. He still has that cold and distant sound. I hate it. I kind of deserve it though..

"Yeah..just let me get my guitar." I say.

"Meet me outside." He says.

I nod and walk over to my guitar case.

--

"Too fast." He says, leaning back in his chair. I take a deep, annoyed breath and strum the guitar slower and sing a few words.

"Too slow." He says as if it's nothing. Now I'm starting to think he's doing this on purpose.

"Tommy I've sang this every way possible." I say.

"I don't feel it." He says, shrugging. God..I wish I could knock that smug look off of his face because it's seriously irritating me.

"Don't feel it?" I ask.

He shrugs again.

"The lyrics..they're off. I want to know how you feel..and you're lyrics sound like every other song you've ever written. I want new and I want emotion..I want pure and raw." He says.

I really don't think he wants pure and raw..

"Tell me a story." He continues. I look down at my guitar and bite my lip. In every one of my songs I have told a story. Our story..it's complicated chemistry,..but it's still there.

"Tell me your story." He finishes.

Heh..he's seriously asking for it.

"Okay.." I say.

I once again start playing around with a few chords on the guitar and finally settle on a stedy melody. He wants raw..here goes raw.

"_Everytime we get closer you push me away_

_I'm so tired of being prepared to break_

_Everything repeats, and we're back to nothing_

_Just tell me if you want me, that's all I want to know_

_Tell me if this is worth it, or another dead end road,"_

I sing without looking up. He wanted raw and he wanted real...I wonder if this is real enough for him,..but I don't want to see his eyes. Don't want to see his thoughts. Too scared to see through him.

_"I'd give up everything for you_

_Is that enough? I think it's too real for you_

_Are you scared of needing me? I'm scared of being me_

_Scared of reality- posessing these feelings,_

_And I've...tried to hate you_

_I'd..love to hate you_

_But I..get lost inbetween.._

_Somewhere else and me."_

I'm probably not even making sense right now. But as they say..the best songs don't make sense. The best songs are poetic and mysterious. What could you say about mine? It's everything I want to say..but I can't..so I sing it instead.

_"You once told me you needed me_

_Said I was everything_

_So tell me something?_

_How am I that easy to give up?_

_You forced me into this corner_

_This chamber, I now call home_

_Surrounded by my broken dreams_

_Everything I've wanted all along,"_

It's not really a way to finish a song..to finish anything, actually. It works, though.

I finally look at Tommy and he has his head towards the horses again.

"One down. Two to go." He says and I can't help but smile...I take it he liked it.

**A/N - So? How was it?..I don't know when the next chappy will be out..depends if I have any homework over the weekend and how busy I am. I'll try to update as quickly as possible though :) please review.**


	22. Chapter 21 Babysitting

**A/N - Hey you guys..I know I am horrible..beyond horrible..I'm..I'm..words can't describe..BUT I do kind of have some excuses..I had to go to the hospital and to a few doctors last week because of my "allergies" and now asthma as well :(..and in a few weeks I have to get a skin test done to see what I'm "allergic" to. Besides that I missed two days of school because of that and had alot of homework to make up, etc. I am really sorry y'all..please don't hate me? and I know you guys deserve a longer chapter than this but I still have homework to catch up on and I had my friends birthday to go to last night..not to mention my birthday is in 11 days. (sigh) Okay I will stop rambling now..hope you guys like the chapter. Oh! and thanks for the reviews as always guys! y'all are awesome:)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 21 - Babysitting**

**Jude's Pov -**

So now we're all inside and it's sun down..time sure flies by when your watching Mason and Jason argue about soap operas and music styles. Who knew Jason watched soaps? I would've never guessed. And he was worried about Tommy being in a boyband ruining his family's name or reputation? Heh..okay.

Tommy has spent the last few hours out by the horses. He seems to really like them.

"Hey Jude..there's nothing in the fridge." Mason says from the kitchen. Oh yeah..oops.

"About that..the closest gas station is an hour away and the closest fast food place is an hour and a half away..I forgot about that." I say.

Suddenly Jason appears from in the hallway with a sly smile on his face.

"An hour? Hm..I guess Tommy could go and Mason, you wouldn't mind going with him, right?" He asks with a huge grin on his face. Haha..that's really smooth.

Mason shoots me a questioning look before shaking his head.

"Actually, I don't think that's a good idea." He says. Thank you Mason!..what would I do without him? really..when we get back home I am so getting him a new hat.

"Aw come on cowboy, she'll be fine here with me..I won't bite..not hard anyway." Jason says. Oh god..what is up with the cheezy one liners?

"What are you guys talking about?" Tommy asks, closing the front door behind him.

"Food." Mason replies.

"Doesn't sound like food." Tommy responds.

"I simply suggested that Jude and I stay here while you and cowboy go get us something to eat, that's all." Jason says with an innocent smile. With that angellic face, who wouldn't believe him? I mean he's got the same facial structure as Tommy..you know..perfect.

"How far is this place?" Tommy asks, now looking at me.

"Almost two hours from here.." I say quietly. Oh..he doesn't look happy about that.

"Two hours? It's already eight now." He says.

"It's fine. You and Mason can go now and Jude and I can catch up." Jason says.

"Catch up? you have nothing to catch up on. y'all have no history whatsoever." Mason butts in.

Jason shoots Mason a look.

"Jude and I will go." Tommy says in an aggravated tone.

"Come on Tom-" Jason pleads.

"I said Jude and I will go. You two stay here and..whatever." Tommy says, heading toward the door. I gulp. I hate it when he's like this.

--

So finally..just to get a conversation going..I do it. I touch his...radio. And it does it.

"Jude what the hell did I tell you about touching the radio?"

I shrug.

"So you are alive and able to talk? you had me wondering." I say in a monotone. He ignores my comment and decides to just leave the radio station on the station I put it on. That's weird even for Tommy..I mean, him not keeping this meaningless conversation going?..I thought he actually waited for something like this to come about so he could take out his anger on me because I know he is mad...hurt..and probably everything else that revolves around those categories at/with me. Sad part is..I can't blame him. I messed up big time.

It's completely dark outside and we've been been riding for atleast a half hour. I can barely see the road because it's foggy and did I mention the parts that I do see don't look familiar? I mean..I haven't been here since I was a kid. I'm kind of scared to tell Tommy, though. So I continue to stay quiet and he continues to drive down this lonely, broken road.

About twenty minutes have passed, still silence, and I can't take this anymore.

"So..When are you guys having the wedding?" I ask.

I can see a small sarcastic grin make it's way across his lips.

"Well since plans have changed and my ex spoiled artist didn't want me to produce her anymore, we're headed back to the states. Who knows? It'll happen eventually."

I can feel the burning in my mouth...the yearning..I need to speak, I need to say something..but he's right. He didn't do anything to deserve what I said to him. I'm the one who told him to stay out of my love life, right? and here I am butting into his again. God..I'm such an idiot.

"Oh.." I say. What else can I say?

"Destany know you guys are going back yet?" I ask. If you're wondering...this is hurting like hell for me to talk to him about this..knowing I've lost him again. Yes, I've lost him..he's already gone and I know it.

He laughs to himself a bit..not a good laugh..but a 'Are you seriously asking me that?' laugh.

"Heh, not yet. But when she finds out she'll be thrilled."

I nod. Such an idiot..

Before I can say anything else I feel something hit the tire of the car.

"What the hell?" Tommy asked, catching the steering wheel and holding one arm out in front of me. I fall against his arm which keeps me from hitting the dashboard and then fall back against my seat when the car comes to a complete hault...after the back tire also made it's way over whatever it was that hit the front one.

We sit there for a few seconds, me trying to recover from my heart attack and Tommy still holding his arm out.. When he finally realized what he was doing he dropped his arm and refused to look at me. I don't think he wants me to know that he cares anymore..and once again I don't blame him.

Tommy gets out of the car, as do I, and goes over to the passengers side to check the tires. Each are completely flat and huge ammounts of glass and some huge, sharp object was now laying on the side of the road. Looked like a blade of some kind. What are the odds?

"Damn it!" He curses, now kicking the glass.

I stand here and watch him without saying anything. I'm not that stupid.

"Now what? we're in the middle of nowhere.. Do you have your cell phone?" He asks, anger very evident in his voice. I nod and grab it from my pocket. Crap..

"No signal." I say slowly. He leans his head back slowly and looks up at the sky while taking a deep breath.

"We can just use the spare on the front and we should be able to get atleast to the gas station like that." I offer.

He smiles.

"That is the spare." He says, pointing to the front. Well...scratch that idea.

"I knew this was going to be a bad idea. You and me on a trip together..It's just not meant. It's a bad idea all together." He says. I bite my lip to keep from saying something stupid.

"I'm too old for this.. I don't need this." He continues. What the hell? Too old? Now he sounds like an old man.

"You're 25 Tommy, you're not fifty." I say..yeah yeah yeah, it slipped.

"I'm too old to be babysitting." He says under his breath..I heard. Babysitting? excuse me?

"Excuse me?" I mimick my thoughts.

"Your eighteen, Jude. This is your time to make stupid mistakes. I've been there, I've lived that. I was a kid, but I had to grow up pretty fast and without a choice. I'm not that kid anymore and I can't deal with small things like this."

"You're right Tommy. I am eighteen and whether you've noticed or not..I'm not a kid. I haven't been a kid since that night out in the rain. I stopped being a teenager the night my mother left Sadie and I to fend for ourselves. I'm not that fifteen year old girl anymore and if you're too wrapped up in your own oh so important life then screw it Tommy, I don't want you to go through things like this with me." I say, feeling the lump form in my throat. I know this lump way too well..now to keep the tears from falling.

"I'll go through it alone like usual. You walked out on me once..I learned to be strong on my own." I say softly and quivery. Now you see that was one of those statements that was suppose to be said independently and convincingly. I did just the opposite.

"You're the one who wants me gone, Jude. You are the one who told me it was a mistake for me to work with you again." He says, equal tone. In other words, he sounded hurt, less anger and more pain.

"Are you really that far away Tommy?" I ask. He stares at me.

"Do you really think I want you to leave?" I continue.

He stays quiet for a few minutes before breaking eye contact and walking down the edge of the road.

"I'll be back.." He says without looking at me and slowly fades into the fog.

**A/N - So what did you think? Sorry for leaving it like that..I will definitely try to get the next chapter out before friday..if I don't I am really sorry I WILL seriously try. In the mean time..please review? **


	23. Chapter 22 Full moon

**A/N - Hey you guys! Once again you amaze me with your reviews and I can't thank you enough. Well today is friday so I was good on my word:)..I hope the chapter was worth the wait..Please leave a review and tell me? I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as I can and that's a promise :)**

**Chapter 22 - Full moon**

**Jude's Pov**

He's been gone for atleast twenty minutes. I wonder what he's doing..he couldn't possibly be walking to that gas station..I mean..It's too far. I hope he's okay though.

Why am I worrying? It's Tommy. Stubborn..no good..big-headed..inconsiderate Tommy...or is that me?

I mean seriously..I don't know who to be mad at anymore..myself or him. In a way I'm mad at myself for letting him get to me again. And I am mad at him for coming back and thinking everything would be okay for us..even back to normal. He's even tried to hit on me..and hes engaged. I can't say that I'm complaining because it's Tommy, but it is wrong and even though I don't like Barbie..I couldn't do that to her..especially since I know how it feels to be that girl..the one who has had someone crush her heart and tear it to pieces.

Anyway..I know I shouldn't have been so harsh with my words about it being a mistake for us to work together again,..but now that I think of it..I don't really think I'd change em' if I had the chance. Maybe it is..was a mistake for him to come back. I was just getting back on my own again..being able to be strong and independent...and then he happened..again.

Regardless.. I can't change any of that. What is done is done and whether he stays or leaves..I know I'll never have him.

I hop up on the hood of the car and lay back against the windsheild staring up at the sky when a tune hits me.

"Mmm mmm." I hum against the breeze. Closing my eyes and feeling the words slowly escape my mouth.

_"You said it was time to take a break_

_Time to get away_

_leaving all thought of regret..pushed to the wall."_

"_Mmm mm."_

_"No time for second chances_

_no chance of second thoughs_

_and just to think, I thought we had it all"_

_"Oh.."_

I start tapping the hood of the car lightly, developing a steady rythm and continued to let the words flow.

_saying goodbye_

_maybe the hardest thing.._

_Letting go of you and I_

_A broken heart for the last time.._

_Saying goodbye_

_To everything you meant to me_

_Everything that I believe.._

_Who-"_

"Hey I finally found someone on this road to hell and we don't have all night." I heard him bark. I jump up and grip the hood of the car, obviously startled and embarrassed. There standing next to Tommy were two young boys.

"Come on Jude we don't have all night." Tommy said, motioning towards the boys' car.

I jump off and head towards it. I'm guessing there was something wrong with the other door since Tommy was holding his door open for me to crawl through..I know Tommy wasn't just being nice.

After we both get in the boys take their seats in front and we start driving.

"Thanks so much..we thought we'd be stuck out here all night." I say, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"It's no problem..we really don't mind. A pretty girl like youself shouldn't be alone out here at night..someone could snatch you up." The boy in the passenger's seat said, quickly closing his hand as a gesture to show how quick someone could snatch me. It made me jump..the deepness of his voice.

"Heh." I say, sending Tommy a questioning look, but he was too busy staring ahead, his eyes glazed over with ice.

We drove for a while in complete silence and needless to say, it was bugging me. I don't like silence..silence is always a sign that there is something unsaid that needs to be said, and most of the time the people allowing the silence are the ones who need to do the saying..Make sense?

"So why are you out here all alone anyway?" The boy continued. I don't get what he's saying..I'm not alone..I'm with Tommy.

"I'm not alone..I'm with Tommy." I mimick my thoughts.

"Oh, right, him. He your boyfriend?" He asks.

"N-"

"Yeah." Tommy interrupts me, grabbing my hand.

The boy narrows his eyes and I once again send Tommy a questioning look.

"Two years now." Tommy continues. Um..what?

"You look a little too old for her." The boy says. Heh..no kidding..

"We appreciate the ride, but is our relationship any of your business?" Tommy retorts. I think he's getting mad..or aggravated..all of the above..

"Pttt..just a waste is all." The boy continues. Oh no, Tommy's grip is tightening on my hand and..not good.

"Excuse me?" Tommy asks.

"Such a young pretty girl..wasted." He continues.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I ask. I really didn't want to step into this conversation, but it seemed as though..well..I had to.

He looks me up and down with a huge smirk on his face before turning to the driver and nudging his arm, laughing. The driver let out a small scary laugh as well before the other guy turns to me again and says "Just call me sometime and I'll show you."

I narrow my eyes at him and his grin grows wider. Tommy's grip is nearly cutting off my blood circulation now.

"Would you like to repeat that?" Tommy asks, clenching his jaw.

"I said she should call me sometim," The boy shrugs, "Her beauty..sexiness, all wasted on someone like you." he coninues.

"Look here-" Tommy starts.

"Pull over." I interrupt, pushing the driver's shouler.

"What? no." The guy replies.

"I said pull over! we can walk the rest of the way." I say.

He looks at his friend for a few minutes, I'm assuming looking for answers, and then finally does as I tell him.

I hurry up and push Tommy out of the car and then get out myself. The passenger's seat boy winks at me and then the two speed off.

I don't know what road these guys were driving down..the moon is our only access to light and the trees are covering it.

Tommy is still all puffed up from earlier and he is still holding the firm grip on my hand.

"Two years, huh? that's funny..they must have passed by like nothing because I don't remember any of it." I say.

Tommy finally drops my hand.

"Jude, I only said that for your own good." He says, his voice low and husky.

"My own good?"

"Yes your own good! God, am I the only one who understood what that creep was talking about? Come on Jude, you're eighteen now, you can figure it out." He says.

"It doesn't matter. Once again, yes I am eighteen, I can handle things myself..boyfriend." I add the last part just to add it.

"What is wrong with people?" Tommy asks. Rhetorical question..I'm guessing he didn't hear my earlier boyfriend comment.either that or he's ignoring it.

"I mean seriously. He just met you and he is already hitting on you? And come on he was atleast my age, and he was saying I was too old for you?" He continues.

Is this seriously coming out of his mouth? I can't believe my ears.

"Look Quincy..Thanks for trying to keep me..safe? But I'm fine so stop worrying. Keep your mind on Barbie." I say, walking down the road. I hear his footsteps picking up pace and I can just hear our upcoming argument. It's getting close and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with him once again. Who knows what'll happen this time? It's a full moon..people do crazy and stupid things on a full moon. God help me.

**A/N - So? Was it horrible? worth the wait? okay? stupid? give me anything :) Love you guys!**


	24. Chapter 23 Never know what to say

**A/N - Once again..I know, I know..I'm terrible. Things are still crazy.. Last thursday was my birthday and alot of people were over this weekened, etc. Plus I still have homework. I truly am sorry you guys..and once again I have no idea when the next chapter will be out but I am trying. Last chapter was kind of boring, I agree..this one probably isn't the best, but I hope you like it? Thanks for the reviews you guys.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star**

**Chapter 23 - Never know what to say**

**Jude's Pov -**

After he caught up with me we actually didn't talk all that much. I mean, we were too busy concentrating on what was around us. The dark, misty woods. But all good things must come to an end. And they do.

"So what's going on with you and Jason?" Tommy asks, not looking at me.

I turn to look at him and laugh slightly.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.  
Tommy now turns his attention to me and looks at me like I'm stupid.

"Come on Jude, he wanted me to leave you alone with him." He suggestively says.

I raise my eyebrow.

"No kidding?" I ask. What? If he wants to treat me like a retard, then he's getting a retarded and half-assed answer.

His face hardens and his eyes darken.

"Jude, I don't want you to get mixed up with the wrong people.."

My god..can you say repetitive?

"Tommy we just went over this. I'm not a kid and I can handle it, god. When did this become about me and Jason anyway?" I ask, getting frustrated.

"He's my brother Jude. I know his tricks and I know his game. Hell, I created the game and I don't want that to happen to you." Tommy says.

"Quincy you are the most...frustrating..Ugh! what is it with you? you send so many different signals. One minute you're into me and the next..make up your damn mind because I'm not going to be here forever waiting, I have a life and it needs to move on!"

He's speechless. Was that what I was aiming for?..yes...no..I don't know..maybe?

"Jude..it's complicated."

"No Tommy. I'm tired of complicated. You have a fiance who looks like she just stepped out of a victoria's secret magazine, yet you continue to act like you're into me, and then you talk about the wedding..and then go back to me. I can't do this Tommy it's just too much." I say.

"Jude-"

"No. No 'Jude'. I don't want 'Jude', I want an answer...I want to know how you feel for real. Don't lie to me anymore just tell me Tommy. What do you want?"

"You're one to talk. When I came back you hated me, and don't get me wrong, It's completely understandable. So then we're okay and then you hate me again and it's like an endless cycle..the best part-You tell me I shouldn't have come back. Now tell me Jude, is that how you really feel or was that just a lie?"

He asks.

"Don't turn this on me Tommy. I'm not the one getting married!" I basically scream.

"I have to get married!" He screams. What the hell is that suppose to mean? I mean come on..who _has_ to get married? For christ's sake he's a grown man who can make decisions on his own.

"Is someone holding you at gunpoint or something? Is there something I'm missing here because last time I checked you did whatever you wanted. When did this change?" I ask.

"When you came along." He says quietly.

"What?" I ask, taken aback.

"Jude..you're eighteen and perfect, girl." He says. God..who does this? who can go through a zillion emotions in the matter of a minute?

"Tommy.."

"No, you're eighteen and you have all the time in the world to find the right one for you. The one who makes you smile and will treat you like you deserve to be treated."

Where is he going with this?

"But Tommy-"

"I've been trying to explain this to you Jude..I can't be around you. It's too hard on me..I missed you so much when I was gone..and I _know _coming back was going to be a mistake but I had to make it. I had to see you." He continues.

"Why are you saying this?" I ask.

He stares at me for a few minutes and I can see the water forming along the rims of his eyes. Oh god.

"I'm getting married..because I love you." He says, voice quivering and eyes watering. Oh..my...god.

I just stand here. Staring.

"You.." I start.

Fantasizing.

"Since the first time I saw you." He says.

Hoping.

"But why-"

Believing.

"It scares the hell out of me." He says.

Crushing.

"Tommy.."

"You don't need this Jude. I'm no good for you..probably not for anyone..and that's why I never took the actual step. I want the best for you girl..even if that means I don't get to be with you." He says, still quivery.

"And I have no say in this whatsoever?" I ask, tears falling freely.

He shakes his head, smiling sadly.

I close my eyes and try to keep from sheding any more tears..yeah, that wasn't working well. I can't believe him. He told me he loves me. He _can't_ be with me _because_ he loves me. What kind of freakish logic is that? The man has issues.

"Jude please..try to understand." He pleads, coming closer to me. I feel his strong, warm hands take hold of my shoulders and then one make it's way to my cheek, wiping away the string of tears.

I shiver under his touch and totally lose control of everything. My body melts and my heart breaks into a million pieces and I, only I know they'll never be able to be put back together. Tom Quincy holds my heart in the palm of his hand. He is the only one who can make me hurt. He is the only one who can and will ever make me happy.

I open my eyes to see his gleaming in the moonlight. They're shimmering with unshed tears and we both know what's coming.

I feel myself being pulled closer..closer..so close that it's uncomfortable.  
"I lo-" I start, but before I'm able to finish his soft lips capture mine and I'm dead all over again. I'm numb. I'm complete. I'm nothing. I'm broken.

He pulls away and rests his head on mine.

"Don't waste it on me, Jude." He says, out of breath.

"But-"

"Jude!" Tommy and I both turn around to see Jason and Mason standing in the yard. They're both giving us questioning looks.

I look at Tommy one last time before wiping my eyes and sniffing away the rest of my tears. Tommy places a comforting..yet not comforting arm around me and we walk up to the door silently. I might never know what to say again..

**A/N - So? sorry again yall..please review:) **


	25. Chapter 24 Just fantasy

**A/N - This probably doesn't make up for all the time I didn't post..I can't say how sorry I am you guys..It's just been hectic and writer's block and school and god..I'm really sorry. But you guys have been great, like always. Thanks so much for the reviews and I'm happy you're still with me and with the story..I hope it's not getting too boring or predictable...or even ooc. Please continue to let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy this chappy.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star**

**Chapter 24 - Just fantasy**

**Tommy's Pov -**

"Jude please..try to understand." I plead, going closer to her. I take hold of her shoulders, trying to keep her calm, knowing that it was probably only making it worse and then brush her tears away.

She trembles underneath my touch and that's it. I lose control of everything..my thoughts, my beliefs, my sanity and everything I just said means nothing.

She opens her eyes and her blue orbs stare directly into mine. They're shimmering with unshed tears and we both know what's coming.

I feel myself being pulled closer..closer..so close that it's uncomfortable.

I watch ler lips quiver and I know she's about to do it. Make that one mistake. I won't let her.  
"I lo-" I capture her lips in mine and I'm complete..so is she. I can feel it. She can feel it. If only this was always so simple. So easy. So perfect. It can't be.

I pull away and rest my head on hers, thinking of how I am going to explain that kiss.

"Don't waste it on me, Jude." I say, out of breath. She shouldn't say it. I shouldn't have said it..I shouldn't have forced her to feel obligated to say something back. To admit something that could possibly be false, which most likely is false.

"But-"

"Jude!" Jude and I both turn to see Jason and Mason standing in the yard. They're both giving us questioning looks.

I, Tom quincy..admitted something I never thought possible. I told her I loved her. I once, long ago, made a promise to myself that I'd never tell her that. Never screw her up like that. I broke that promise and I feel guilty. Guilty for everything. Cheating, Loving, Hoping, Believing, everything. I am a guilty man.

As we walk up to the two boys..I hold my arm around her to try to calm her. She's so tense and I know I screwed up again. But that's not hard to believe. My name is Thomas Quincy afterall. - Ex boybander screw up, Womanizing sex symbol. I should be punnished for these sins. I should be punnished for everything I am. But I am being punnished. I fell for a girl who I can never be with. If that's not punnishment..I don't know what is.

**Jude's Pov -**

We walk passed Jason and Mason who are totally oblivious to everything that had happened in the past few hours. I don't want to see them. I don't want to talk to them. I want to be alone..and I want to greive. I want to learn to cope. I want to learn to unlove if that makes sense? Can you unlove someone?

We walk inside and without letting Tommy hold me back, I head into my room without looking back. Without thinking twice I grab my guitar and strum fastly.

_"Who was I to say everything was gonna be okay_

_And who I was to say that you could do no wrong_

_Now it's like a nightmare that keeps occuring_

_Or a wound kept open, burning_

_And I keep fading, dripping from this life_

_And it's a terrible feeling_

_Though I refused to cry_

_You took a piece of my heart and threw it away_

_And never even said good bye_

_You were the one to recreate_

_All those tears that turned to hate_

_I was given false hope, losing grip_

_Hanging on this short rope..they call innocence"_

**No one's Pov -**

Tommy walked into the kitchen and splashed some water on his face, basically trying to wake himself up..even though he knew it wasn't a dream. He kissed Jude. He confessed. He messed up for the zillionth time.

"Where's the food?" Jason asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Where's the car?" Mason asked, coming in behind Jason.

Tommy didn't say anything. He just stared down at the sink.

"What took you guys so long? something happen?" Mason asked, concern clearly showing through his voice.

Tommy still said nothing, instead he walked out of the kitchen and walked outside.

"What's eating him?" Jason asked, a puzzled look on his face.

"I don't know..I'm going to talk to Jude." Mason said, walking down the hall and on his way to Jude's room.

Jason nodded and went in the opposite direction, heading outside to where Tommy was.

-With Jude -

Mason walked slowly to Jude's door and heard the loud strumming echoing throughout the hallway. He bit his lip, knowing that something happened between her and Quincy. She got this way whenever they fought or something.

Mason tapped the door lightly.

"Jude? Can I come in?"

No answer. Only the guitar was heard. No words.

He decided to open the door anyway. Once he did he noticed Jude's hair covering her eyes and she was sitting down on the floor, leaning against the bed with guitar in hand. Strumming some chords that didn't even go together, but obviously she didn't care.

Mason walked over and slid down to her level.

"Jude?" He asked again. She didn't look up. Only kept strumming.

"What happened?" He tried again.

She slowed down the chords and developed a steady rhythm.

"Tom Quincy happened."

Mason nodded, listening to Jude explain everything.

-With Tommy and Jason-

"What is your problem?" Jason asked, closing the door behind him. Tommy glanced towards his brother for a few minutes before focusing once more on the road before him where him and Jude had just shared something he'd never forget.

"What did you do? Kiss her or something?" Jason asked in a joking tone. Tommy shot a look of horror at Jason and Jason's jaw nearly hit the floor.

He started to laugh, "You kissed her," He said over and over.

Tommy ignored it the first few times but quickly grew annoyed with it.

"It wasn't like that!" He protested.

Jason continued to chuckle.

"Right..like you _really_ love her and it wasn't at _all _the fact that she's too young for you and you can't have one girl. Come on Tom we both know that's what it really was about."

Jason said, his laughter subsiding and his voice growing more serious.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Tommy said, voice mono.

"Don't play that with me Tom. She's the one thing you can't have and it kills you. You get everything you want and it just _kills_ you. Face it- if you ever did have a chance with her, you'd screw it up..or better yet, screw her and leave her. Not that I'm blaming you, I wouldn't mind hittin' that either." Jason finished.

Tommy stared at his brother.

"She's different." He said.

"Right Tom, regardless, you need to either back off or call off the wedding. This game you're playing is getting old." Jason said.

Tommy didn't say anything. Just kept looking down. His mind was working overtime and his heart was pounding with everything. He was fighting emotions and holding back tears. Everything that ever meant anything to him was so close..so touchable..so real..and he couldn't see it. Couldn't touch it. It was just fantasy, and what he needed was reality.

**A/N - It's pretty short, I know..and again, sorry about that.**


	26. Chapter 25 We're done

**A/N - I don't know what I can say to make you guys forgive me..because I know I've been horrible. I've just had the hardest time writing and not very much spare time to do it. I hope yall can understand that..and forgive me? I also hope you don't hate this chapter too much..it's not long at all..but it's all I could come up with. The end should be coming soon..in a few chapters..and the next one should be out pretty soon because I'm going to MAKE myself write..but don't hate me if it's crappy..:(..alright you guys thanks so much for the reviews from last chapter and I hope you'll leave one for this one. Love yall.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 25 - We're done**

**Jude's Pov -**

"Tom Quincy happened." I say, lightly playing with the strings of the guitar. Gently and calmly.

"Things are always so complicated with us..we couldn't leave it at that." I say. It's true. It's us. We're Jude and Tommy. We are destined to be apart..but drawn together. We can never leave it simple. Why? because it's not simple. It's anything but simple and I Jude Harrison..love him. No matter how much he makes me hate and despise him..I love him. And you can't help who you love.

"What happened out there?" Mason started, scooting closer to me.

"Something definitely happened because when we walked out there..you could cut the tension with a knife." He continued. Is it that noticable?..are we that obvious? I don't try to be. I don't intend to be.

"He kissed me." I say, almost choking on my words. Those poisonous words.

Mason's eyes widen.

"Again?" He asks, shock straining his voice. I nod.

"He has some nerve!" Mason says, getting all worked up. I smile weakly and continue to strum the guitar.

"I love him..you know." I say.

Mason doesn't say anything, but he does attempt to calm himself down..for me.

"I have to say goodbye to him.." I continue, tears swelling in my eyes. It's true. If I ever want to move on and have a normal life..I have to let him go. Either he has to go for good..or I have to. The only person I can depend on is myself. I have to leave.

"Jude..you know he loves you." Mason says.

I nod.

"I know..but love isn't enough anymore." I say. Can you believe I'm saying this? Me?

"You can't mean that." Mason protests.

I stop playing the guitar and look up at him. I can feel my face warming and my eyes burn with unshed tears.

"I have to." I say..setting the guitar aside and crossing my arms to my chest.

Before I am able to control what is happening, Mason's arm is around me and my eyes are wet, pressed against his shoulder.

--

The next morning I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in. Cuddled up against Mason and my guitar. It was comforting, really.

I slowly slip from his grip without waking him up and exit the room quietly.

The place is so silent in the morning. You can hear the birds chirping..and feel the sun on your face through the window. I miss this.

I look out the door and spot him outside. Sitting in the chair on the porch facing the horses. Had he been out there all night?

Should I go out there? If I do..will I be able to hold myself together? Or will I make a complete fool out of myself and start blubbering again?..I guess there's only one way to find out..and if I don't get it over with now..then I never will.

I slowly open the door and it makes no sound, surprisingly..considering how old this place is. After taking a few small steps I stop directly behind him and lean against one of the chairs.

"Ir's peaceful out here." Tommy says. I was hoping he didn't know I was out here..too late for that.

"Yeah," My voice cracks so I clear my throat, "It is." I agree.

"One more song..and we should be able to head back." He continues.

I nod..like he can see me. I'm so stupid.

And back to silence.

After a few minutes of unbarable silence he finally pushes himself off his chair and walks passed me but pauses before walking inside the house.

"Don't stress yourself Jude..after we get these songs finished and recorded I'm leaving for good..no more games." He says, causing my heart to stop beating. I want this..right? I've been waiting for this. I want this.

"You're..leaving." I say, shakily.

"Yeah, I'm leaving." He says, finalizing everything.

I freeze up and am suddenly paralized. I can't move..nor do I want to because I know me. If I move..I'll go closer to him. I'll make the biggest mistake of my life and tell him I love him and I can't do that. I can't let myself do that.

I hear him start to turn the door knob and something clicks. I close my eyes and bring my hand to my throat, slowly putting pieces together in my head..

"I can't keep letting myself do this

Keep getting tangled up in you..

Losing every ounce of dignity I once had

Everything I am is coming unglued..

I can't help but want to be with you

Put all obstacles aside

I want nothing more than to share with you

Everything I feel inside..

Wasting away to nothing

Why can't I just let go?"

_I open my eyes to see him in the same position, standing at the door with his hand on the knob, eyes closed and listening. He is listening..listening to me. Hearing me. Once again, I close my eyes._

"Unravel every fantasy,

Not let my weakness show

It's unfair to her to say you love me

And It's unfair to you to say I love you too

This conversation keeps reoccuring

And I'm losing my mind, I no longer know what to do"

_My eye's are still closed..but he's been so still..hasn't even blinked, yes, this I know. He knows it..I know it. This is it. _

"Sometimes I wish I'd never met you

Not even time will tell..

Because you protect yourself with the same old line

And even though it's a lie, it works every time

Abandoning everything

surrounded by these broken things

Who are you to call her beautiful?

And who am I to disagree?"

_This is it._

"Living on the razors edge

Captivated with so many regrets

She surrounds herself with memories

She refuses to forget

I am only an outsider in this perfect picture

I know I don't belong

But I can't stop caring...

And I know, you know, this always was and ever will be wrong."

I open my eyes and he is smiling at me. I know that smile..heh, only all too well.

"That's it girl. We're done." He says. Indeed we are..

**A/N - Once again, sorry and I hope you liked this chapter..please review? tell me if you didn't like it :)**


	27. Chapter 26 I'm here to stay

**A/N - Hey yall...well..I didn't get this out as soon as I wanted to..but..atleast I got it out in the same month period as the last one, right? heh..sorry. Thanks so much for the reviews from last chappy and I hope you like this one as well. Please continue reviewing yall..it gives me inspiration. Especially since i'm sick..it makes me feel better :). **

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 26 - I'm here to stay**

**Jude's Pov -**

The ride home was uncomfortable. Mason knew what was going on..Jason knew what was going on..so the awkwardness was cleary there.

Mason kept shooting me sympathetic looks. Tommy might as well already be gone. I can see how things are going to be already.

But I guess to clear the tension a bit..Mason..made a few comical remarks. I didn't laugh..he had Jason rolling though.

The laughter quickly stopped as we pulled into the parking lot of G-Major. Mason and Jason quickly shut up and I couldn't take my eyes off Tommy. His face was expressionless. His knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. But he kept driving, unable to form words, I imagine.

After parking in his usual spot, he got out and I sat there along with Jason and Mason..scared to get out. Scared to see how Tommy was actually going to take this.

**No one's Pov -**

Tommy stepped out of the car angrily and stalked over to his fiance and none other than..

"Darius." Tommy spoke inbetween clenched teeth.

Darius arm lingered around Destany's frail shoulders.

"Tom..glad to have ya back." Darius said, smiling widely. Destany kept her view in the distance, refusing to meet Tom's eyes.

"Glad to have me back? heh..that's nice D. So tell me again, why did you send me with a chaperone?" Tommy asked.

Darius narrowed his eyes.

"I think you and I both know why, Tom." He replied.

"Haha, really? 'cause quite frankly, I thought I could trust my boss alone with my fiance, but apparently I was very wrong..and I'm the one who needed the chaperone?"

Tommy snapped, his voice rising with anger.

"Tommy it's not like that.." Destany cut in.

"I don't even want to hear it. All the accusing you did with me and Jude and you're the one kissing my boss, outside _my_ work of _all_ places and _you_ have the room to say it's not like that? Tell me Destany, what's it like then?" Tommy asked.

Jude, Mason, and Jason finally decided it was about time to get out and see what all was going on..considering they could hear the screaming pretty clearly through the thin glass windows.

"I don't like being second choice Tommy." Destany said, bluntly.

Tommy stood there for a few minutes just staring at her, before taking a quick glance at Jude.

"Don't bring Jude into this."

"See? I didn't even say second choice to her, YOU knew it was her. It is her. It's always been her and I can't compare." Destany continued.

"You don't have to explain to him.." Darius said, bringing her closer to him.

Tommy couldn't say anything else. He couldn't stand there and yell at her for doing the same thing he did. They were both wrong, and he knew it. Hipocracy was in the air.

"I'm sorry Tommy." Destany said.

Tommy didn't say anything back, he just turned and walked away, kicking the sidewalk on the way.

Jude watched him walk away. Her heart was breaking for him. Things were finally going to go good for him..he was actually going to try to make things work. Get his life together..and something like this happened.

"Just go after him, Jude..it's what he wants. It's what you want. It's whats best." Jason said.

Jude shook her head.

"No. It's not whats best." She said lightly.

"Stop lying to yourself, Jude." Mason urged, pushing her shoulder lightly.

Jude just gave him a look and walked inside of G-Major.

Darius let go of Destany and pushed her towards G-Major as well, leaving Jason and Mason outside.

"Why the hell do they both have to be so damn stubborn?" Jason asked.

"Well..I don't know about Tom..but Jude..she doesn't have any faith in him anymore. Can you blame her?" Mason asked.

Jason shrugged.

"I don't even care. I don't want to be here." Jason said. Mason smiled.

"You do care..or else you would still be after Jude. You know they're meant for eachother." Mason said.

Jason narrowed his eyes.

"All I know is if anyone can change Tom..it's her." Jason said, before walking into G-Major as well.

Mason nodded.

"Agreed."

**Jude's Pov -**

Here I am..in the alley. It's so quiet out here..for once. It's nice. It's peaceful. It's un-heartbreaking..that's always a plus.

After seeing Tommy hurt.. I just couldn't stick around. Destany hurt him, that was obvious. But why did he look at me? What was the whole second choice thing? Didn't we go over this? Didn't we settle that it was too complicated for us? Why doesn't Mason and Jason see it that way? Especially Mason..he's been around to hear most of this. Notice how incredibly difficult Tommy is. Why don't they see? It's hurting him..and it's hurting me. But most of all..Why can't I see? I can keep telling myself that if he's gone..I'll be better. But I won't. I can keep telling myself that all my worries will go away and I'll love again..but..I won't.

_"It feels like I barely know you anymore.._

_So why does it hurt so much?_

_Your cries are raining down on me_

_And I won't move, I can't seem to budge_

_Your pain weighs me down_

_I want to make it go away_

_Because I know you're breaking inside_

_But I've run out of comforting things to say_

_My heart bleeds for you_

_And my eyes are always wet_

_Soaked with the misery i feel for you_

_Drenched with the feeling of regret._

_It feels like I barely know you.._

_So why does it hurt so much?_

_Your cries are raining down on me_

_And I won't move, I can't seem to budge_

_Just close your sad eyes and listen to my voice_

_Drift off to a peaceful place and always remember_

_I'm here to stay"_

I sang quietly. Not even loud enough for my voice to echo through the emptiness of the street.

But loud enough for the hidden ears to listen.

"Darius'll like it." The voice came out of nowhere and my head turned towards it.

I smile lightly and shrug.

"You think?" I ask.

He nods.

"Your new producer can help you get the melody down." Tommy said, stepping out of the shadows.

I lower my head and nod.

"Still leaving, huh?" I ask, voice cracking.

"There's nothing here for me anymore." He said plainly.

"Was there ever?" I ask, sarcastically. He turns to look at me.

"At one point.." Tommy trailed off..

"What's that supposed to mean, Tommy?" I ask, crossing my arms.

Tommy sighed.

"Nothing." He said, lightly.

"No Tommy, come on, explain yourself."

Tommy stayed silent.

"This is so like you..you'll say something and have nothing to back it up." I say.

He nods.

"You agreeing now?" I ask, on a laugh.

"What do you want me to say? I screwed up multiple times. This was it..the one time to make it right..and now thats done and over. I'm a failure. Everything I've ever done..everything, nothing but failures." He says, walking over to the wall opposite of him, "And I'm not looking for sympathy..hell, I deserve what I've been through. Every bit of it." He continues.

"Everyone screws up," I say, getting up and walking over to him slowly.

"Everyone makes mistakes." I continue, placing my hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

"Some people deserve happiness.." He says, turning around and meeting my eyes. I smile and he lowers his head.

"I'm not one of them, Jude." He says.

"What? Tommy..you know that-"

"I can't do this." He says, taking my hand in his only for a few minutes, before dropping it and walking away.

**A/N - So what did ya think? **


	28. Chapter 27 Make your choice

**A/N - Okay you guys..I hope yall aren't disappointed..this is the last chapter to Coming home. It's not what I thought was going to happen..but..it just kind of played out that way. So..please review and tell me whether you liked it or not? and what you thought of the whole story overall? And thank you all for the support throughout the whole thing..I can never thank you guys enough because it means so much to me. And once again, I apologize for the updates lately..gotta hate school --..but um, thanks and leave one last review :)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 27 - Make your choice**

**Jude's Pov -**

He's walking away from me..again. And the movie plays..all the times he hurt me. All the times he walked away from me..from us. Everything I'd ever felt for him started to creep it's way back slowly and I bang my fist against the wall.

"Damn it Tommy, what the hell do you want from me?" I scream, drawing his attention.

He stops and stays completely still, listening.

"You told me you loved me..and now you're just going to leave me?" I ask, letting my emotions take guide.

"Jude.."

"No. I'm tired of your useless explanations.. you listen to me for once." I scream, tears falling swiftly down my face.

"I'm tired of waiting for you to get a clue. I'm tired of being the girl who sits around waiting for the one she cares about most in the world to stop whoring around and finally realizing that he has someone and has had someone all along who loves him."

I say, starting to walk towards him. He doesn't turn around.

"Don't you get that?" I ask.

He shakes his head to himself.

"You don't love me Jude.."

"How can you tell me who I love, Tommy? you're not me. You don't know how I feel" I say, matter-of-factly.

"You don't love me." He repeats. Doesn't he get that every time he says that it just gets me more angry?

"I'm not a kid. Don't tell me what I do and don't feel." I say.

He finally turns towards me, eyes glistening.

"You can't love me, Jude." He says, voice soft.

"Why? why can't I?" I ask, still allowing tears to fall.

"We've been over this. I'm no good for you, for anyone." He says.

I shake my head slowly.

"Let me be the judge of that." I say.

"It's too big of a risk..I don't want to break your heart."

"Too late, Quincy." I say, hitting him as hard as I can on the shoulder.

He falls back and hits the wall behind him.

"So you're just going to leave with that? Never give us a chance just because you don't trust yourself?" I ask.

He doesn't move. He's leaning against the wall with his head lowered. I didn't mean to actually hurt him..okay, so maybe I did. But can you blame me? So sick of these stupid mind games. I'm done with it all.

"Just answer already Tommy..I can't take this." I say, starting to seriously break down.

He looks up at me with actual tears in his eyes. His eyes are so sad..the saddest I've ever seen them.

He starts walking over to me, each step with more sadness than the last.

_It feels like I barely know you..so why does it hurt so much?_

Finally reaching me, a tear rolls down his face, helplessly..and he quickly wipes it away.

_Your cries are raining down on me..and I won't move, I can't seem to budge_

He leans down and his quivering lips softly brush my ear as he whispers "I'll always love you, girl."

And then he smiled and walked away..again.

--

It's been a month since the incident. I can't help but still feel empty..

He's gone.

**A/N - Please don't hate me? I know, it's not all Jommy cuteness..and believe me I LOVE JOMMY but..all my other stories had the Jommy ending and I thought it was getting kind of repetetive..so I left it like this. And whos to say they don't end up together? I left it with him LEAVING..thats it. I didn't necessarily split them up..we all know they'll find their way back to eachother. I think I'm trying to convince myself more than I am yall lol. But uh..I hope you liked it anyway? And sorry to say..there won't be a sequel. I probably wont have any new stories out for a LONG time cause of stupid school. Alright alright..thanks again yall and please review?**


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